For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures for ever and his faithfulness to all generations.
For God is sheer beauty, all-generous love, loyal always and ever.
It is comforting in depression to remind myself that my depressed state is not all there is to me. I have not always felt like this and I will not always feel like this. But God is not like me. This verse reminds me that God is the same always. I began these psalms because I wanted to see if my faith would withstand the hopelessness of depression. It has. My trust in God has not always been good, steadfast, and faithful, but it has survived. In depression I desperately assumed this verse to be true; in health I joyfully avow this verse to be true. The grace and mercy from my good, steadfast, and faithful God have preserved my soul through depression. It is right to pray this psalm of thanksgiving.
Lord, you are good, steadfast, and faithful. Teach me to cling to you always, that my trust in you may be good, steadfast, and faithful. Thank-you for the ability to joyfully pray psalms of thanksgiving. Amen.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Psalm 99:8
O Lord our God, you did answer them; you were a forgiving God to them, but an avenger of their wrongdoings.
And then God, our God, answered them (But you were never soft on their sins).
God has answered my prayers: I am out of depression and fully participating in life again. The fog has lifted. Like a child who keeps examining a skinned knee, I keep revisiting the paths that took me into and out of depression. This psalm reminds us that God does not protect us from consequences, but he does guide us through them. My sin was seeking glory from my activities. I fight that sin now by seeking glory for God from my activities. I’ve narrowed my life down considerably. I protect my time to rest so that my work can more fully glorify God.
Lord, you answered my prayer. Let my healing glorify you. Let all that I do glorify you. Amen.
And then God, our God, answered them (But you were never soft on their sins).
God has answered my prayers: I am out of depression and fully participating in life again. The fog has lifted. Like a child who keeps examining a skinned knee, I keep revisiting the paths that took me into and out of depression. This psalm reminds us that God does not protect us from consequences, but he does guide us through them. My sin was seeking glory from my activities. I fight that sin now by seeking glory for God from my activities. I’ve narrowed my life down considerably. I protect my time to rest so that my work can more fully glorify God.
Lord, you answered my prayer. Let my healing glorify you. Let all that I do glorify you. Amen.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Psalm 98:1
O sing to the Lord a new song, for he has done marvelous things!
Sing to God a brand-new song. He’s made a world of wonders!
When I first started these devotions I thought I would be unable to write a devotion on a praise psalm. I knew the psalms would express my depression in words. But even these psalms of despair convinced me that my depression was clinical, an illness. I would say, “I have a good life. Why do I feel this way?” In terms of treatment, answering the why is important because depression can be an illness or it can be a response to a difficult life situation. In terms of justifying depression, this question is a dead end. The praise psalms help me throw out the why question. They remind me that God is God. Period.
Lord, I am, in sickness or health, only a human being. Let me be comforted by reading the psalms that praise you. Let them remind me that you are God. Amen.
Sing to God a brand-new song. He’s made a world of wonders!
When I first started these devotions I thought I would be unable to write a devotion on a praise psalm. I knew the psalms would express my depression in words. But even these psalms of despair convinced me that my depression was clinical, an illness. I would say, “I have a good life. Why do I feel this way?” In terms of treatment, answering the why is important because depression can be an illness or it can be a response to a difficult life situation. In terms of justifying depression, this question is a dead end. The praise psalms help me throw out the why question. They remind me that God is God. Period.
Lord, I am, in sickness or health, only a human being. Let me be comforted by reading the psalms that praise you. Let them remind me that you are God. Amen.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Psalm 97:11
Light dawns for the righteous, and joy for the upright in heart.
Light-seeds are planted in the souls of God’s people, Joy-seeds are planted in good heart-soil.
Light is a noun, an adjective, and a verb. It has a total of 22 definitions, 15 of them for the noun. Light is something that makes vision possible. Light is a spiritual illumination. It’s not surprising that physical vision and mental understanding use the same noun. We cannot see without light. That’s why it’s so important to be up in the daytime, enjoying sunlight if not inner light. Living in this emotional darkness is teaching this life-long night owl an appreciation for resting at night and waking in the morning. I’ve never found peace or healing in the night, only worry and anxiety. The sun rises and sets with or without me. I might as well follow God’s plan by rising and setting with the sun.
Lord, you created me to be awake in the light and rest in the darkness. Let me follow your plan, and let sunlight lead me out of the darkness of depression. Amen.
Light-seeds are planted in the souls of God’s people, Joy-seeds are planted in good heart-soil.
Light is a noun, an adjective, and a verb. It has a total of 22 definitions, 15 of them for the noun. Light is something that makes vision possible. Light is a spiritual illumination. It’s not surprising that physical vision and mental understanding use the same noun. We cannot see without light. That’s why it’s so important to be up in the daytime, enjoying sunlight if not inner light. Living in this emotional darkness is teaching this life-long night owl an appreciation for resting at night and waking in the morning. I’ve never found peace or healing in the night, only worry and anxiety. The sun rises and sets with or without me. I might as well follow God’s plan by rising and setting with the sun.
Lord, you created me to be awake in the light and rest in the darkness. Let me follow your plan, and let sunlight lead me out of the darkness of depression. Amen.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Psalm 96:11
Let the heavens be glad and let the earth rejoice; let the sea roar, and all that fills it…
Let’s hear it from Sky, with Earth joining in, and a huge round of applause from Sea.
This psalm begins with the command, “Sing to the Lord a new song.“ By verse 11, nature is told to praise God. But God is always glorified by his creation. The beauty of the sky, earth, and sea gives glory to God. Just by being, creation glorifies God. I am God’s creation also. My existence glorifies God. Calling to him in my depression glorifies God. My healing glorifies God. Just by being, I glorify God. It’s easy to see how God is glorified in a starry night, autumn leaves, or the ocean tide. Witness the glory of God’s creation and remember that you are God’s creation, too.
Lord, I am your creation. Open my heart to enjoying your creation and appreciating its goodness. Remind me that, as your creation, I am good. Amen.
Let’s hear it from Sky, with Earth joining in, and a huge round of applause from Sea.
This psalm begins with the command, “Sing to the Lord a new song.“ By verse 11, nature is told to praise God. But God is always glorified by his creation. The beauty of the sky, earth, and sea gives glory to God. Just by being, creation glorifies God. I am God’s creation also. My existence glorifies God. Calling to him in my depression glorifies God. My healing glorifies God. Just by being, I glorify God. It’s easy to see how God is glorified in a starry night, autumn leaves, or the ocean tide. Witness the glory of God’s creation and remember that you are God’s creation, too.
Lord, I am your creation. Open my heart to enjoying your creation and appreciating its goodness. Remind me that, as your creation, I am good. Amen.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Psalm 95:6
O come, let us worship and bow down, let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!
So come, let us worship: bow before him, on your knees before God, who made us!
We used to sing this in the liturgy when I was a kid. I went to parochial school, so I had to have my own hymnal and Bible in my desk all through school. My mother gave them to me, my name embossed in gold, when I began first grade. At some point, eighth grade maybe, we signed our names in each others’ hymnals, like a yearbook. It’s been comforting to browse through the hymnal from my childhood. It made me smile to see the autographs of my classmates. Next, I opened the photo album. There have been many happy times. Focus on the celebrations of your life.
Lord, you are my Maker. You have blessed my life with many celebrations. Keep my mind focused on my blessings. Amen.
So come, let us worship: bow before him, on your knees before God, who made us!
We used to sing this in the liturgy when I was a kid. I went to parochial school, so I had to have my own hymnal and Bible in my desk all through school. My mother gave them to me, my name embossed in gold, when I began first grade. At some point, eighth grade maybe, we signed our names in each others’ hymnals, like a yearbook. It’s been comforting to browse through the hymnal from my childhood. It made me smile to see the autographs of my classmates. Next, I opened the photo album. There have been many happy times. Focus on the celebrations of your life.
Lord, you are my Maker. You have blessed my life with many celebrations. Keep my mind focused on my blessings. Amen.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Psalm 94:18
When I thought, “My foot slips,” they steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.
The minute I said, “I’m slipping, I’m falling,” your love, God, took hold and held me fast.
I’m remembering my descent into depression, when I thought all I needed was some rest. Could I have avoided this if I’d looked for help earlier? There is no way to tell. But notice when God intervenes in this verse. After all the discussion of crying, moaning, groaning, and pleading unto the Lord, this verse tell us that God intervenes as soon as we realize we’re in trouble. So, the first time I thought all I needed was rest, God took hold. As comforting as it is to know that God responds to me when I ask and because I ask, this provides an even more comforting image.
Lord, you took hold and are holding me still. Guide my thoughts to the ways you have held me up. Let me recognize them each day. Amen.
The minute I said, “I’m slipping, I’m falling,” your love, God, took hold and held me fast.
I’m remembering my descent into depression, when I thought all I needed was some rest. Could I have avoided this if I’d looked for help earlier? There is no way to tell. But notice when God intervenes in this verse. After all the discussion of crying, moaning, groaning, and pleading unto the Lord, this verse tell us that God intervenes as soon as we realize we’re in trouble. So, the first time I thought all I needed was rest, God took hold. As comforting as it is to know that God responds to me when I ask and because I ask, this provides an even more comforting image.
Lord, you took hold and are holding me still. Guide my thoughts to the ways you have held me up. Let me recognize them each day. Amen.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Psalm 93:4
Mightier than the thunders of many waters, mightier than the waves of the sea, the Lord on high is mighty!
Stronger than wild sea storms, Mightier than sea storm breakers, Mighty God rules from High Heaven.
My study Bible comments: “God’s rule is based upon his control over the powers of chaos, symbolized by the waters of the sea.” The dictionary defines chaos as a state of utter confusion. Reminds me of my first response to depression, “I just need to sit and think and figure this out.” That was followed by my second response: utter confusion, because, of course, I couldn’t figure it out. As mighty and strong as this depression-induced chaos is, God is mightier. Picture the ocean this verse describes and then remember Jesus calming the sea. Dwell on this: Mighty God rules from High Heaven, calming the storm of depression.
Lord, Mighty God, calm the storm of depression. Let me dwell on the image of you calming the sea. Amen.
Stronger than wild sea storms, Mightier than sea storm breakers, Mighty God rules from High Heaven.
My study Bible comments: “God’s rule is based upon his control over the powers of chaos, symbolized by the waters of the sea.” The dictionary defines chaos as a state of utter confusion. Reminds me of my first response to depression, “I just need to sit and think and figure this out.” That was followed by my second response: utter confusion, because, of course, I couldn’t figure it out. As mighty and strong as this depression-induced chaos is, God is mightier. Picture the ocean this verse describes and then remember Jesus calming the sea. Dwell on this: Mighty God rules from High Heaven, calming the storm of depression.
Lord, Mighty God, calm the storm of depression. Let me dwell on the image of you calming the sea. Amen.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Psalm 92:1
It is good to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises to your name, O Most High;
What a beautiful thing, God, to give thanks, to sing an anthem to you, the High God!
Singing praises to God while suffering depression is just like doing any activity: I make myself. I make myself brush my teeth and get dressed. I make myself eat and take a walk. I make myself give thanks and sing praises to the Lord. How? I read the psalms. I read the liturgies and hymns in the hymnal. I listen to music. I make lists of the blessings in my life. I am not depressed because everything in my life is bad and I have no blessings. I am depressed because I’m sick. God is with me, delivering me from depression, and I praise him as best as I am able.
Lord, I’m not alone in praising you. Let me depend on all the people who have written praises to you, giving thanks with their words until I find my own words again. Amen.
What a beautiful thing, God, to give thanks, to sing an anthem to you, the High God!
Singing praises to God while suffering depression is just like doing any activity: I make myself. I make myself brush my teeth and get dressed. I make myself eat and take a walk. I make myself give thanks and sing praises to the Lord. How? I read the psalms. I read the liturgies and hymns in the hymnal. I listen to music. I make lists of the blessings in my life. I am not depressed because everything in my life is bad and I have no blessings. I am depressed because I’m sick. God is with me, delivering me from depression, and I praise him as best as I am able.
Lord, I’m not alone in praising you. Let me depend on all the people who have written praises to you, giving thanks with their words until I find my own words again. Amen.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Psalm 91:14
Because he cleaves to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him because he knows my name.
“If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God, “I’ll get you out of any trouble.”
My study Bible calls Psalm 91 a “meditation on God as the protector of the faithful (a wisdom psalm).” In this verse God is talking about you and me. I’m tempted to form an ideal picture of cleaving to God in love, decide I’m falling short, and conclude that God isn’t protecting me. Then I remember Psalm 89 and resist trying to measure or evaluate my cleaving or my love. God isn’t measuring or evaluating. God doesn’t protect me because I deserve it or I’ve earned it. This verse says that God protects me because I ask him. Dwell on this: God protects you because you ask him.
Lord, I have spent the last 90 psalms cleaving to you in love. I am holding on to you for dear life. I know to call your name. Lord, protect me. Amen.
“If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God, “I’ll get you out of any trouble.”
My study Bible calls Psalm 91 a “meditation on God as the protector of the faithful (a wisdom psalm).” In this verse God is talking about you and me. I’m tempted to form an ideal picture of cleaving to God in love, decide I’m falling short, and conclude that God isn’t protecting me. Then I remember Psalm 89 and resist trying to measure or evaluate my cleaving or my love. God isn’t measuring or evaluating. God doesn’t protect me because I deserve it or I’ve earned it. This verse says that God protects me because I ask him. Dwell on this: God protects you because you ask him.
Lord, I have spent the last 90 psalms cleaving to you in love. I am holding on to you for dear life. I know to call your name. Lord, protect me. Amen.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Psalm 90:12
So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.
Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well!
When I see these words, especially the second translation, I can easily think in the context of modern life. Living well means having money, and living wisely means never making mistakes. It reminds me of my husband singing Janis Joplin: “Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz.“ So then I begin again, and think of the good life and wisdom God wants for me. A good life is based on the contentment that flows from praising God. Wisdom is knowing what’s important: caring for God’s people. God is only interested in today, and, with a heart of wisdom, I am only interested in today.
Lord, depression fills my mind with the regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow. Teach me the wisdom of living each day in praise and service to you. Amen.
Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well!
When I see these words, especially the second translation, I can easily think in the context of modern life. Living well means having money, and living wisely means never making mistakes. It reminds me of my husband singing Janis Joplin: “Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz.“ So then I begin again, and think of the good life and wisdom God wants for me. A good life is based on the contentment that flows from praising God. Wisdom is knowing what’s important: caring for God’s people. God is only interested in today, and, with a heart of wisdom, I am only interested in today.
Lord, depression fills my mind with the regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow. Teach me the wisdom of living each day in praise and service to you. Amen.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Psalm 89:1
I will sing of your steadfast love, O Lord, for ever; with my mouth I will proclaim your faithfulness to all generations.
Your love, God, is my song, and I’ll sing it! I’m forever telling everyone how faithful you are.
Faith in God is a gift of the Holy Spirit. Keeping the faith during depression is a testament to the power of the Holy Spirit. Now you might argue and tell me how weak and almost non-existent your faith is at this point. The hopelessness of depression feels like proof that there is no God, or worse, that God has rejected you. But you know those are lies. Remember the faith of the mustard seed! Trust the Holy Spirit to maintain your faith through this illness. By God’s grace, because of his steadfast love and faithfulness, your faith is enough. My faith is enough.
Lord, thank-you for the blessing of faith in you. Let me proclaim your faithfulness by depending on the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Your love, God, is my song, and I’ll sing it! I’m forever telling everyone how faithful you are.
Faith in God is a gift of the Holy Spirit. Keeping the faith during depression is a testament to the power of the Holy Spirit. Now you might argue and tell me how weak and almost non-existent your faith is at this point. The hopelessness of depression feels like proof that there is no God, or worse, that God has rejected you. But you know those are lies. Remember the faith of the mustard seed! Trust the Holy Spirit to maintain your faith through this illness. By God’s grace, because of his steadfast love and faithfulness, your faith is enough. My faith is enough.
Lord, thank-you for the blessing of faith in you. Let me proclaim your faithfulness by depending on the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Psalm 88:3
For my soul is full of troubles, and my life draws near to Sheol.
I’ve had my fill of trouble; I’m camped on the edge of hell.
My study Bible calls this psalm a desperate prayer for healing in sickness. I bet I’ve written about this before, but when I first realized that a week of rest wasn’t going to cure me, I was really shocked. As the weeks passed, I became desperate. I remember lying on the floor in utter desolation and this definition crossed my mind: hell is the absence of God. Yet there was a place in my heart that remembered God‘s mercy and faithfulness and kept believing in God’s presence. I thank God that I can pray this desperate prayer, and still God works through a tiny place in my heart.
Lord, you are with me even when I’m camping on the edge of hell. Thank-you for that place in my heart that remembered your mercy and faithfulness. Amen.
I’ve had my fill of trouble; I’m camped on the edge of hell.
My study Bible calls this psalm a desperate prayer for healing in sickness. I bet I’ve written about this before, but when I first realized that a week of rest wasn’t going to cure me, I was really shocked. As the weeks passed, I became desperate. I remember lying on the floor in utter desolation and this definition crossed my mind: hell is the absence of God. Yet there was a place in my heart that remembered God‘s mercy and faithfulness and kept believing in God’s presence. I thank God that I can pray this desperate prayer, and still God works through a tiny place in my heart.
Lord, you are with me even when I’m camping on the edge of hell. Thank-you for that place in my heart that remembered your mercy and faithfulness. Amen.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Psalm 87:6
The Lord records as he registers the peoples, “This one was born [in Zion].
God registers their names in his book: “This one, this one, and this one- born again, right here."
My study Bible says of this verse, “As God keeps the census records of the world, he notes with special pleasure the citizens of Zion.” For some reason this makes me think of the old joke about being surprised about who we see in heaven! But I shouldn’t be surprised to be recorded as a citizen of Zion. Psalm 86:15 tells us that God is “merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.” This is not a god who angrily scratches out a name at the first sin. God is pleased to write down my name and he is pleased to see me grow in mercy and grace, steadfast love and faithfulness.
Lord, let the mercy and grace you show me develop into mercy and grace I show myself and others. Let my life show that I was born in Zion. Amen.
God registers their names in his book: “This one, this one, and this one- born again, right here."
My study Bible says of this verse, “As God keeps the census records of the world, he notes with special pleasure the citizens of Zion.” For some reason this makes me think of the old joke about being surprised about who we see in heaven! But I shouldn’t be surprised to be recorded as a citizen of Zion. Psalm 86:15 tells us that God is “merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.” This is not a god who angrily scratches out a name at the first sin. God is pleased to write down my name and he is pleased to see me grow in mercy and grace, steadfast love and faithfulness.
Lord, let the mercy and grace you show me develop into mercy and grace I show myself and others. Let my life show that I was born in Zion. Amen.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Psalm 86:11
Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name.
Train me, God, to walk straight; then I’ll follow your path. Put me together, one heart and one mind; then, undivided, I’ll worship you in joyful fear.
I’ve always wanted to do things “right.” It gets very confusing, and I end up accusing myself whenever there’s a problem. In my mind, if a problem develops, I did something wrong. So I have to be careful with this verse. God’s truth is not about finding the right plumber or buying the right crock pot. It’s not even about marrying the right spouse or choosing the right depression treatment. God’s truth, highlighted by his mercy and grace and steadfast love (vs.15), keeps my heart and mind together so that I can confidently make life’s decisions and face whatever the consequences without second guessing and accusing.
Lord, when I follow your way I don’t have to worry and second guess my every decision. Keep my heart and mind on what is without fail: your truth. Amen.
Train me, God, to walk straight; then I’ll follow your path. Put me together, one heart and one mind; then, undivided, I’ll worship you in joyful fear.
I’ve always wanted to do things “right.” It gets very confusing, and I end up accusing myself whenever there’s a problem. In my mind, if a problem develops, I did something wrong. So I have to be careful with this verse. God’s truth is not about finding the right plumber or buying the right crock pot. It’s not even about marrying the right spouse or choosing the right depression treatment. God’s truth, highlighted by his mercy and grace and steadfast love (vs.15), keeps my heart and mind together so that I can confidently make life’s decisions and face whatever the consequences without second guessing and accusing.
Lord, when I follow your way I don’t have to worry and second guess my every decision. Keep my heart and mind on what is without fail: your truth. Amen.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Psalm 85:8
Let me hear what God the Lord will speak, for he will speak peace to his people, to his saints, to those who turn to him in their hearts.
I can’t wait to hear what he’ll say. God’s about to pronounce his people well, The holy people he loves so much, so they’ll never again live like fools.
Depression has taught me many lessons about myself. I am a woman created by God. I have gifts and talents to use to God’s glory. I also have 24 hours each day to divide between relationships, work, play, and rest. For me, that rest must include time in solitude as well as a good night’s sleep. When I habitually rob myself of play and rest, I am living like a fool. I am acting for my glory, not God’s. So here I am learning this lesson again. God’s voice speaks to me of peace and wellness. The road to peace and wellness is in God’s call, including the call to rest.
Lord, I am glorifying myself when I work without play and rest. Remind me to honor my body, your creation, with solitude and rest. Amen.
I can’t wait to hear what he’ll say. God’s about to pronounce his people well, The holy people he loves so much, so they’ll never again live like fools.
Depression has taught me many lessons about myself. I am a woman created by God. I have gifts and talents to use to God’s glory. I also have 24 hours each day to divide between relationships, work, play, and rest. For me, that rest must include time in solitude as well as a good night’s sleep. When I habitually rob myself of play and rest, I am living like a fool. I am acting for my glory, not God’s. So here I am learning this lesson again. God’s voice speaks to me of peace and wellness. The road to peace and wellness is in God’s call, including the call to rest.
Lord, I am glorifying myself when I work without play and rest. Remind me to honor my body, your creation, with solitude and rest. Amen.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Psalm 84:5
Blessed are the men whose strength is in you, in whose heart are the highways to Zion.
And how blessed all those in whom you live, whose lives become roads you travel;
This psalm is about the journey to the temple in Jerusalem. In Biblical times, making the pilgrimage to the temple was a difficult journey, but the anticipation and joy of worshiping there made it all worthwhile. I don’t think about worship very often. My daily prayers are a tug-of-war with God. I plea that MY will be done, or for the grace to sincerely pray THY will be done. Worship is where that tug-of-war pulls me in to acknowledge that God is God, even when I’m unable to participate fully. In worship there is only God’s will. In worship I am on the journey to strength and peace and joy.
Lord, save us from the time of trial and deliver us from evil, for the kingdom and the power and the glory are yours, forever and forever. Amen.
And how blessed all those in whom you live, whose lives become roads you travel;
This psalm is about the journey to the temple in Jerusalem. In Biblical times, making the pilgrimage to the temple was a difficult journey, but the anticipation and joy of worshiping there made it all worthwhile. I don’t think about worship very often. My daily prayers are a tug-of-war with God. I plea that MY will be done, or for the grace to sincerely pray THY will be done. Worship is where that tug-of-war pulls me in to acknowledge that God is God, even when I’m unable to participate fully. In worship there is only God’s will. In worship I am on the journey to strength and peace and joy.
Lord, save us from the time of trial and deliver us from evil, for the kingdom and the power and the glory are yours, forever and forever. Amen.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Psalm 83:18
Let them know that you alone, whose name is the Lord, are the most high over all the earth.
Then they’ll learn thy name: “God,” the one and only High God on earth.
God is the most high over depression and all diseases. Just acknowledging that is a triumph over depression. But there’s something else gnawing at me. This verse makes me think about how I need my actions to prove my worth, just as this verse tries to entice God to prove his. This would work if I were always successful. Failure not only leaves me feeling unworthy, but it also negates my success. Take it one step further when I consider that the diagnosis of depression makes me think I’m a failure, a thought I must argue everyday. My worth is not in my health or success. My worth is in being a child of the Lord most high over all the earth.
Lord, let this depression know that thou alone, whose name is the Lord, are the most high over all the earth. Amen.
Then they’ll learn thy name: “God,” the one and only High God on earth.
God is the most high over depression and all diseases. Just acknowledging that is a triumph over depression. But there’s something else gnawing at me. This verse makes me think about how I need my actions to prove my worth, just as this verse tries to entice God to prove his. This would work if I were always successful. Failure not only leaves me feeling unworthy, but it also negates my success. Take it one step further when I consider that the diagnosis of depression makes me think I’m a failure, a thought I must argue everyday. My worth is not in my health or success. My worth is in being a child of the Lord most high over all the earth.
Lord, let this depression know that thou alone, whose name is the Lord, are the most high over all the earth. Amen.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Psalm 80:18
Then we will never turn back from you; give us life and we will call on your name!
We will never turn our back on you; breathe life into our lungs so we can shout your name!
The psalmist is not above bargaining. God wants me to glorify and praise him and this psalm reminds him that while I’m not up to it right now, I certainly would be if God gave me what I asked. Again I’m reminded that no holds are barred in my conversation with God. I’m also reminded that life is from God and I am meant to give him the credit. Lastly, this verse reminds me of the childlike trust God expects from me. Here I am bargaining like a child begging a parent for a puppy and promising I’ll never ask for anything again. Dwell on this: you are healing. You will feel God’s breath in your lungs and shout God’s name.
Lord, we have a bargain. By your grace I will be healed, and I will praise you for it. Amen.
We will never turn our back on you; breathe life into our lungs so we can shout your name!
The psalmist is not above bargaining. God wants me to glorify and praise him and this psalm reminds him that while I’m not up to it right now, I certainly would be if God gave me what I asked. Again I’m reminded that no holds are barred in my conversation with God. I’m also reminded that life is from God and I am meant to give him the credit. Lastly, this verse reminds me of the childlike trust God expects from me. Here I am bargaining like a child begging a parent for a puppy and promising I’ll never ask for anything again. Dwell on this: you are healing. You will feel God’s breath in your lungs and shout God’s name.
Lord, we have a bargain. By your grace I will be healed, and I will praise you for it. Amen.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Psalm 82:8
Arise, O God, judge the earth; for to you belong all the nations!
O God, give them their just deserts! You’ve got the whole world in your hands!
This psalm is a litany of the Lord’s judgment on pagan gods. It’s interesting to me that the assumption isn’t that there are no other gods, but that our God is superior to them. This is important because I could miss the whole point if I thought this only applied to the days of Canaanite gods. I’ve been surprised to learn that I have lots of other gods in my life. Not only the typical gods of financial security and success, but the gods of arrogance and the hunger for glory. Those gods are worshiped through self-doubt and insecurity. How can I discern God’s will when I’m worshiping those gods? This is God’s world, not mine. Any good that I do in this world is to God’s glory, not mine.
Lord, you are the one true God. I shall have no other gods before you. Guide me to your will. Amen.
O God, give them their just deserts! You’ve got the whole world in your hands!
This psalm is a litany of the Lord’s judgment on pagan gods. It’s interesting to me that the assumption isn’t that there are no other gods, but that our God is superior to them. This is important because I could miss the whole point if I thought this only applied to the days of Canaanite gods. I’ve been surprised to learn that I have lots of other gods in my life. Not only the typical gods of financial security and success, but the gods of arrogance and the hunger for glory. Those gods are worshiped through self-doubt and insecurity. How can I discern God’s will when I’m worshiping those gods? This is God’s world, not mine. Any good that I do in this world is to God’s glory, not mine.
Lord, you are the one true God. I shall have no other gods before you. Guide me to your will. Amen.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Psalm 81:5b
I hear a voice I had not known:
I hear this most gentle whisper from One I never guessed would speak to me:
I have a book about discernment. The book was disappointing for me, because I want discernment to be a burning bush telling me to go to Egypt: direct, unmistakable, and to the point. Discernment is complicated for me because I think I’m called to do everything. I’ve always thought God had called me to work, take care of my family, volunteer, learn, solve all problems, and cure all diseases. I was listening to my bloated self-expectations as if they were calls from God. I took on too much and it all came crashing down with the depression. It’s time to sift through my talents, interests, and joys to discern God’s gentle whisper.
Lord, teach me to hear your call. Let me use this illness as the opportunity to tune in to your will for me. Amen.
I hear this most gentle whisper from One I never guessed would speak to me:
I have a book about discernment. The book was disappointing for me, because I want discernment to be a burning bush telling me to go to Egypt: direct, unmistakable, and to the point. Discernment is complicated for me because I think I’m called to do everything. I’ve always thought God had called me to work, take care of my family, volunteer, learn, solve all problems, and cure all diseases. I was listening to my bloated self-expectations as if they were calls from God. I took on too much and it all came crashing down with the depression. It’s time to sift through my talents, interests, and joys to discern God’s gentle whisper.
Lord, teach me to hear your call. Let me use this illness as the opportunity to tune in to your will for me. Amen.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Psalm 79:1
O God, the heathen have come into your inheritance; they have defiled the holy temple; they have laid Jerusalem in ruins.
God! Barbarians have broken into your home, violated your temple, left Jerusalem a pile of rubble!
Depression is a tricky illness. It’s not your fault, but it is your fault. Genetic tendencies, learned ways of thinking, physical traumas, and life circumstances all contribute to it. The bad news is I unknowingly contributed to my illness; the good news is that by learning new ways of thinking and making other changes I can contribute to my healing. The problem is that they can both sound like bad news. This verse helps me recognize the aspects that are beyond my control. I never expected this and did not knowingly walk into it. Depression has defiled this holy temple and left me in ruins. That’s a fact regardless of where the fault lies.
Lord, I am in ruins. Guide my thoughts and actions so that I can rebuild and live the life you intended for me. Amen.
God! Barbarians have broken into your home, violated your temple, left Jerusalem a pile of rubble!
Depression is a tricky illness. It’s not your fault, but it is your fault. Genetic tendencies, learned ways of thinking, physical traumas, and life circumstances all contribute to it. The bad news is I unknowingly contributed to my illness; the good news is that by learning new ways of thinking and making other changes I can contribute to my healing. The problem is that they can both sound like bad news. This verse helps me recognize the aspects that are beyond my control. I never expected this and did not knowingly walk into it. Depression has defiled this holy temple and left me in ruins. That’s a fact regardless of where the fault lies.
Lord, I am in ruins. Guide my thoughts and actions so that I can rebuild and live the life you intended for me. Amen.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Psalm 78:23
Yet he commanded the skies above, and opened the doors of heaven;
But God helped them anyway, commanded the clouds and gave orders that opened the gates of heaven.
This psalm is a prayer for deliverance from natural enemies and the verse before this explains that God’s people did not have faith and trust in God. But God helped them anyway. I don’t have to earn God’s help. I don’t have to pass the test, strengthen my weaknesses, correct my flaws, or snap out of it. I don’t even have to have faith and trust in God. God helps me anyway. What a relief! The faith and trust I muster please God because he wants me to turn to him, but it’s not a test. I can question and doubt and threaten. I can wallow or fight or rest. I can beg and plead and moan. I don’t have to worry about getting this right. God helps me anyway.
Lord, this verse is so powerful when I feel so powerless. Help me anyway. Amen.
But God helped them anyway, commanded the clouds and gave orders that opened the gates of heaven.
This psalm is a prayer for deliverance from natural enemies and the verse before this explains that God’s people did not have faith and trust in God. But God helped them anyway. I don’t have to earn God’s help. I don’t have to pass the test, strengthen my weaknesses, correct my flaws, or snap out of it. I don’t even have to have faith and trust in God. God helps me anyway. What a relief! The faith and trust I muster please God because he wants me to turn to him, but it’s not a test. I can question and doubt and threaten. I can wallow or fight or rest. I can beg and plead and moan. I don’t have to worry about getting this right. God helps me anyway.
Lord, this verse is so powerful when I feel so powerless. Help me anyway. Amen.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Psalm 77:11
I will call to mind the deeds of the Lord; yea, I will remember your wonders of old.
Once again I’ll go over what God has done, lay out on the table the ancient wonders.
According to my study Bible this psalm is a prayer for deliverance from personal trouble and this verse is for encouragement. The psalmist is encouraging himself with memories of what God has done. This reminds me, like Psalm 71, of the faith of my childhood. It also reminds me of my faith when life is going smoothly. It’s important to think of that trusting faith, the faith that attributes all good things to God’s grace. Depression does not feel like a state of grace, but what if it is? What “amazing grace” indeed could penetrate depression and allow me to recall God’s blessings of the past, experience God’s blessings of the present, and be hopeful of God’s blessings in the future?
Lord, you are never-changing. Let me by comforted by your ancient wonders in my life so that I can see the wonders of today and hope for the wonders of tomorrow. Amen.
Once again I’ll go over what God has done, lay out on the table the ancient wonders.
According to my study Bible this psalm is a prayer for deliverance from personal trouble and this verse is for encouragement. The psalmist is encouraging himself with memories of what God has done. This reminds me, like Psalm 71, of the faith of my childhood. It also reminds me of my faith when life is going smoothly. It’s important to think of that trusting faith, the faith that attributes all good things to God’s grace. Depression does not feel like a state of grace, but what if it is? What “amazing grace” indeed could penetrate depression and allow me to recall God’s blessings of the past, experience God’s blessings of the present, and be hopeful of God’s blessings in the future?
Lord, you are never-changing. Let me by comforted by your ancient wonders in my life so that I can see the wonders of today and hope for the wonders of tomorrow. Amen.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Psalm 76:11
Make your vows to the Lord your God, and perform them; let all around him bring gifts to him who is to be feared…
Do for God what you said you’d do - he is, after all, your God. Let everyone in town bring offerings to the One Who Watches our every move.
I love how The Message translation brings an idea home. “…he is, after all, your God.” It makes me laugh and think at the same time. Depression is a time for me to figure out what my faith means and who my God is. I know about YOUR loving and forgiving God, the God who created you in his good image, the God I call on to comfort you. But in my heart, is that MY God? Does all that apply to me? My sister gave me this large, illustrated, framed Bible verse: Be still and know that I am God. It’s hanging in a prominent place because I know it’s the lesson I need to learn and relearn. He is, after all, my God. What would happen if my every thought verified that?
Lord, you are my God. You love and forgive me. You created me in your good image. You comfort me. Amen.
Do for God what you said you’d do - he is, after all, your God. Let everyone in town bring offerings to the One Who Watches our every move.
I love how The Message translation brings an idea home. “…he is, after all, your God.” It makes me laugh and think at the same time. Depression is a time for me to figure out what my faith means and who my God is. I know about YOUR loving and forgiving God, the God who created you in his good image, the God I call on to comfort you. But in my heart, is that MY God? Does all that apply to me? My sister gave me this large, illustrated, framed Bible verse: Be still and know that I am God. It’s hanging in a prominent place because I know it’s the lesson I need to learn and relearn. He is, after all, my God. What would happen if my every thought verified that?
Lord, you are my God. You love and forgive me. You created me in your good image. You comfort me. Amen.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Psalm 75:3
When the earth totters, and all its inhabitants, it is I who keep steady its pillars.
When the earth goes topsy-turvy and nobody knows which end is up, I nail it all down, I put everything in place again.
In depression my world is topsy-turvy and I don’t know which end is up. It’s very important for me to identify who the “I” is in this verse. God is talking. God steadies earth’s pillars. God puts everything in place again. This is important because I could read this and seriously think I am talking. Remember the expectations that I don’t live up to? Here they are: I expect myself to do what only God can do. Ridiculous? That word doesn’t begin to cover it. In the light of day, I see my strengths and limitations. I can do what God enables me to do, to his glory. I don’t need to take the blame for all that is wrong or the glory for all that is right.
Lord, in my need for glory I also run into blame. Teach me to use my strengths and weaknesses to your glory. Amen.
When the earth goes topsy-turvy and nobody knows which end is up, I nail it all down, I put everything in place again.
In depression my world is topsy-turvy and I don’t know which end is up. It’s very important for me to identify who the “I” is in this verse. God is talking. God steadies earth’s pillars. God puts everything in place again. This is important because I could read this and seriously think I am talking. Remember the expectations that I don’t live up to? Here they are: I expect myself to do what only God can do. Ridiculous? That word doesn’t begin to cover it. In the light of day, I see my strengths and limitations. I can do what God enables me to do, to his glory. I don’t need to take the blame for all that is wrong or the glory for all that is right.
Lord, in my need for glory I also run into blame. Teach me to use my strengths and weaknesses to your glory. Amen.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Psalm 74:16
Thine is the day, thine also the night; you have established the luminaries and the sun.
You own the day, you own the night; you put stars and sun in place.
I fall short of my expectations. When my expectations see the light of day, they seem ridiculous. That’s why it’s so important that they see the light of day. It is in the light of day that I am able to look at things closely and accurately. I can see my physical surroundings and examine what’s in my mind and heart. So what is the night for? The night is for rest. Night time, in the dark, is not the time to examine my mind and heart. As someone who has squandered many a night’s rest on self-examination, I can confidently say that it is never productive. Bring your thoughts into the light and use the darkness to rest.
Lord, you created a time for action and a time for rest. Guide me in using both to your glory. Amen.
You own the day, you own the night; you put stars and sun in place.
I fall short of my expectations. When my expectations see the light of day, they seem ridiculous. That’s why it’s so important that they see the light of day. It is in the light of day that I am able to look at things closely and accurately. I can see my physical surroundings and examine what’s in my mind and heart. So what is the night for? The night is for rest. Night time, in the dark, is not the time to examine my mind and heart. As someone who has squandered many a night’s rest on self-examination, I can confidently say that it is never productive. Bring your thoughts into the light and use the darkness to rest.
Lord, you created a time for action and a time for rest. Guide me in using both to your glory. Amen.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Psalm 73:4
For they have no pangs; their bodies are sound and sleek.
[The people] who have nothing to worry about, not a care in the whole wide world.
I imagine there are people with no problems. These people do everything right, and therefore they have no problems. I have problems, so I must do everything wrong. This kind of thinking contributes to depression. Everybody has problems, everybody makes mistakes, everybody has weaknesses. And I have avoided and solved problems, I have done things right, and I have strengths. I have even had times when I looked like someone with no pangs! Learning how to look at myself accurately is part of the healing. Giving up the notion of perfect people with perfect lives is part of the healing, too.
Lord, you created me and you call your creation good. Protect my thoughts from the lies of depression. Guide my thoughts to keep them accurate and true. Amen.
[The people] who have nothing to worry about, not a care in the whole wide world.
I imagine there are people with no problems. These people do everything right, and therefore they have no problems. I have problems, so I must do everything wrong. This kind of thinking contributes to depression. Everybody has problems, everybody makes mistakes, everybody has weaknesses. And I have avoided and solved problems, I have done things right, and I have strengths. I have even had times when I looked like someone with no pangs! Learning how to look at myself accurately is part of the healing. Giving up the notion of perfect people with perfect lives is part of the healing, too.
Lord, you created me and you call your creation good. Protect my thoughts from the lies of depression. Guide my thoughts to keep them accurate and true. Amen.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Psalm 72:18
Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who alone does wondrous things.
Blessed God, Israel's God, the one and only wonder-working God!
I’m looking for an answer, a cure. It’s hard for me to even trust the medication to do wondrous things when it’s the third prescription I’ve tried. When this is over, I will be thankful for pills and doctors and therapists and friends and family. I have prayed to God and groaned to God. Today, let me tell God to do wondrous things. Let my heart and my mind and my depression be open to the wondrous things which only God can do.
Lord, you alone do wondrous things. Amen.
Blessed God, Israel's God, the one and only wonder-working God!
I’m looking for an answer, a cure. It’s hard for me to even trust the medication to do wondrous things when it’s the third prescription I’ve tried. When this is over, I will be thankful for pills and doctors and therapists and friends and family. I have prayed to God and groaned to God. Today, let me tell God to do wondrous things. Let my heart and my mind and my depression be open to the wondrous things which only God can do.
Lord, you alone do wondrous things. Amen.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Psalm 71:5
For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth.
You keep me going when times are tough- my bedrock, God, since my childhood.
I was baptized as a baby. As a child I attended church, Sunday school, and parochial school. The Holy Spirit was at work in me for years before I grew old enough to question the teachings of my faith. In depression it can feel like God isn’t my hope. Depression makes it easy to doubt if God exists. That is what took me to the Psalms. I knew the questions and doubt would be here along with the hope and the trust. As a child I knew God was real and cared about me. This Psalm gives me the chance to look back to that faith, to call back that faith to sustain me as an adult. God has always kept me going when times were tough. He will keep me going now.
Lord, I believed in you honestly and truly as a child. Comfort me with those memories, and help me use them to hang on to my faith in this depression. Amen.
You keep me going when times are tough- my bedrock, God, since my childhood.
I was baptized as a baby. As a child I attended church, Sunday school, and parochial school. The Holy Spirit was at work in me for years before I grew old enough to question the teachings of my faith. In depression it can feel like God isn’t my hope. Depression makes it easy to doubt if God exists. That is what took me to the Psalms. I knew the questions and doubt would be here along with the hope and the trust. As a child I knew God was real and cared about me. This Psalm gives me the chance to look back to that faith, to call back that faith to sustain me as an adult. God has always kept me going when times were tough. He will keep me going now.
Lord, I believed in you honestly and truly as a child. Comfort me with those memories, and help me use them to hang on to my faith in this depression. Amen.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Psalm 70:1
Be pleased, O God, to deliver me! O Lord, make haste to help me!
God! Please hurry to my rescue! God, come quickly to my side!
Time. Out of all the lessons of depression, waiting is the most frustrating to learn. This verse tells me three things. First, I can remind God of my suffering and tell him to hurry. Second, I can expect him to help. Third, it will please him to help me. In other words, I am not an annoyance or a bother. My prayer is exactly right.
God wants me to cry out to him.
God is helping me.
God wants to help me.
Lord, I think of all or nothing, depressed or well. Help me to appreciate the ways you help each day, and each step out of this depression. Amen.
God! Please hurry to my rescue! God, come quickly to my side!
Time. Out of all the lessons of depression, waiting is the most frustrating to learn. This verse tells me three things. First, I can remind God of my suffering and tell him to hurry. Second, I can expect him to help. Third, it will please him to help me. In other words, I am not an annoyance or a bother. My prayer is exactly right.
God wants me to cry out to him.
God is helping me.
God wants to help me.
Lord, I think of all or nothing, depressed or well. Help me to appreciate the ways you help each day, and each step out of this depression. Amen.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Psalm 69:32
Let the oppressed see [my thanksgiving] and be glad; you who seek God, let your hearts revive.
The poor in spirit see and are glad - Oh, you God-seekers, take heart!
Depression feels endless, but it is not. Look at people who have been healed. If you don’t know anyone personally, ask your doctor or counselor for reassurance. Watch commercials for depression medications, and notice how happy the people are by the end. I know that sounds ridiculous, but so much of the pain of depression is thinking that life will be like this forever. It won’t be. There is a way out. Tell God you will thank and praise him for your healing. Remind him that others will see your praise, and it will help them to trust God, too. Give thanks today for any evidence of healing in your life, no matter how subtle.
Lord, I look forward to praising you for my healing. I trust that healing will come and know that it can only come from you. Keep me faithful. Amen.
The poor in spirit see and are glad - Oh, you God-seekers, take heart!
Depression feels endless, but it is not. Look at people who have been healed. If you don’t know anyone personally, ask your doctor or counselor for reassurance. Watch commercials for depression medications, and notice how happy the people are by the end. I know that sounds ridiculous, but so much of the pain of depression is thinking that life will be like this forever. It won’t be. There is a way out. Tell God you will thank and praise him for your healing. Remind him that others will see your praise, and it will help them to trust God, too. Give thanks today for any evidence of healing in your life, no matter how subtle.
Lord, I look forward to praising you for my healing. I trust that healing will come and know that it can only come from you. Keep me faithful. Amen.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Psalm 68:6
God gives the desolate a home to dwell in: he leads out the prisoners to prosperity…
God makes homes for the homeless, leads prisoners to freedom…
Oh, the lies of depression. “You are weak and foolish. Nobody loves you. Depression is the truth and your times of happiness and success were lies.” This verse doesn’t argue that. This verse says, “I know.” The word desolate is powerful:
-disconsolate, and sorrowful through or as if through separation from a loved one
-showing the effects of abandonment and neglect
-devoid of warmth, comfort, or hope
Sounds like a diagnosis. I am separated from my soul. I treated my soul with abandonment and neglect. I am without hope. This desperate situation leaves me truly open to God’s love and grace.
Lord, only you can bring my soul home to me. Only you can lead me out of this prison of depression. Show me the way, and grant me the grace to follow your way. Amen.
God makes homes for the homeless, leads prisoners to freedom…
Oh, the lies of depression. “You are weak and foolish. Nobody loves you. Depression is the truth and your times of happiness and success were lies.” This verse doesn’t argue that. This verse says, “I know.” The word desolate is powerful:
-disconsolate, and sorrowful through or as if through separation from a loved one
-showing the effects of abandonment and neglect
-devoid of warmth, comfort, or hope
Sounds like a diagnosis. I am separated from my soul. I treated my soul with abandonment and neglect. I am without hope. This desperate situation leaves me truly open to God’s love and grace.
Lord, only you can bring my soul home to me. Only you can lead me out of this prison of depression. Show me the way, and grant me the grace to follow your way. Amen.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Psalm 67:3
Let the peoples praise you, O God; let all the peoples praise you!
God, let people thank and enjoy you. Let all people thank and enjoy you.
Like Psalm 65, this verse reminds me of worship. Even in wellness, there are times it’s difficult to get to church. I could be tired or discouraged or sad or angry. When I get there, the service takes off and the joy of those around me sweeps me along. There is a familiar flow to it that makes it both automatic and heartfelt at the same time. Despite the hopelessness of depression I’m reminded of the times I’ve praised God in thankfulness and gain confidence that I will again. It can be too easy to hide away from your congregation. Go to church. Sit in silence or in tears. Offer what you can. Praise God with your presence and your open heart.
Lord, it’s so easy to seclude myself in depression. Lead me to my congregation and let their worship fill me with hope in the future you have planned for me. Amen.
God, let people thank and enjoy you. Let all people thank and enjoy you.
Like Psalm 65, this verse reminds me of worship. Even in wellness, there are times it’s difficult to get to church. I could be tired or discouraged or sad or angry. When I get there, the service takes off and the joy of those around me sweeps me along. There is a familiar flow to it that makes it both automatic and heartfelt at the same time. Despite the hopelessness of depression I’m reminded of the times I’ve praised God in thankfulness and gain confidence that I will again. It can be too easy to hide away from your congregation. Go to church. Sit in silence or in tears. Offer what you can. Praise God with your presence and your open heart.
Lord, it’s so easy to seclude myself in depression. Lead me to my congregation and let their worship fill me with hope in the future you have planned for me. Amen.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Psalm 66:10
For you, O God, have tested us; you have tried us as silver is tried.
He trained us first, passed us like silver through refining fires.
How is silver tried? Merriam-Webster defines try as “to melt down and procure in a pure state” and refine as “to free from impurities or unwanted material.” I think of the lies of depression. Depression exaggerates the impurities that have always been part of me. I am forced to give some of them up, and learn how unnecessary and even harmful they are. I am learning to discern God‘s voice from my own. And don’t forget “he trained us first.“ I am not facing this illness unarmed. I am armed with faith that God can use any trial for good. Healing is bringing me closer to my pure state.
Lord, in depression I only see the fires as Hell. Open my eyes to the way you use this illness to refine me, bringing me closer to my pure state: your creation living life to your glory. Amen.
He trained us first, passed us like silver through refining fires.
How is silver tried? Merriam-Webster defines try as “to melt down and procure in a pure state” and refine as “to free from impurities or unwanted material.” I think of the lies of depression. Depression exaggerates the impurities that have always been part of me. I am forced to give some of them up, and learn how unnecessary and even harmful they are. I am learning to discern God‘s voice from my own. And don’t forget “he trained us first.“ I am not facing this illness unarmed. I am armed with faith that God can use any trial for good. Healing is bringing me closer to my pure state.
Lord, in depression I only see the fires as Hell. Open my eyes to the way you use this illness to refine me, bringing me closer to my pure state: your creation living life to your glory. Amen.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Psalm 65:4
Blessed is he whom you choose and bring near, to dwell in your courts! We shall be satisfied with the goodness of your house, your holy temple!
Blessed are the chosen! Blessed the guest at home in your place! We expect our fill of good things in your house, your heavenly manse.
When I first read this verse, it reminded me of worship because I think of God’s house as church. In depression it’s so hard to get to church. Going to church involves a thousand small steps that I take for granted when I’m well. I accomplish these steps primarily because of my children. But once I get there, it’s all for me. In church, the worship goes on with or without my participation. It reminds me that life goes on, health goes on, joy goes on. This verse says it is no accident to find myself in church. It’s not to my credit, either. I go to church because God has blessed and chosen me to be satisfied with the goodness that can only be found worshiping in church.
Lord, thank-you for the blessing of being chosen as a guest in your house. Let me go to church expecting to be satisfied. Amen.
Blessed are the chosen! Blessed the guest at home in your place! We expect our fill of good things in your house, your heavenly manse.
When I first read this verse, it reminded me of worship because I think of God’s house as church. In depression it’s so hard to get to church. Going to church involves a thousand small steps that I take for granted when I’m well. I accomplish these steps primarily because of my children. But once I get there, it’s all for me. In church, the worship goes on with or without my participation. It reminds me that life goes on, health goes on, joy goes on. This verse says it is no accident to find myself in church. It’s not to my credit, either. I go to church because God has blessed and chosen me to be satisfied with the goodness that can only be found worshiping in church.
Lord, thank-you for the blessing of being chosen as a guest in your house. Let me go to church expecting to be satisfied. Amen.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Psalm 64:1
Hear my voice, O God, in my complaint; preserve my life from dread of the enemy...
Listen and help, O God, I'm reduced to a whine and a whimper, obsessed with feelings of doomsday.
I am a person full of words. I am never at a loss for words. In this depression, however, I have trouble processing both what I say and what is being said to me. I feel surprised that the world is going on around me, and confused by it all. I'm not myself anymore, and I'm convinced that I never will be again. This psalm reassures me that my prayer does not have to be full of perfect words, like a Supreme Court case. I can offer my whines and whimpers and feelings of doomsday to God. They are all I have right now. I can offer them to God and he will hear them and understand them.
Lord, I'm not able to think of the right words. Fill me with the reassurance that I don't need to. You have provided the words for me in the Psalms. Open my heart to their comfort and healing. Amen.
Listen and help, O God, I'm reduced to a whine and a whimper, obsessed with feelings of doomsday.
I am a person full of words. I am never at a loss for words. In this depression, however, I have trouble processing both what I say and what is being said to me. I feel surprised that the world is going on around me, and confused by it all. I'm not myself anymore, and I'm convinced that I never will be again. This psalm reassures me that my prayer does not have to be full of perfect words, like a Supreme Court case. I can offer my whines and whimpers and feelings of doomsday to God. They are all I have right now. I can offer them to God and he will hear them and understand them.
Lord, I'm not able to think of the right words. Fill me with the reassurance that I don't need to. You have provided the words for me in the Psalms. Open my heart to their comfort and healing. Amen.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Psalm 63:8
My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.
I hold on to you for dear life, and you hold me steady as a post.
In Psalm 62 I imagined my soul hibernating. Now I add the image of my soul clinging to God in this hibernation. How do I picture my soul? I see my physical self holding on to God for dear life. I see myself holding on to God, in my mind the traditional picture of Jesus, for dear life, and He is holding me steady. This depression will not move me away from who I am, for Jesus is holding me steady. I can add this to my image from Psalm 23. I can call on these images in the face of feeling that my soul is lost forever to depression.
Lord, help me to visualize you holding me steady. Let these image help my soul cling to you. Lead me to trust this image over the feelings of depression. Amen.
I hold on to you for dear life, and you hold me steady as a post.
In Psalm 62 I imagined my soul hibernating. Now I add the image of my soul clinging to God in this hibernation. How do I picture my soul? I see my physical self holding on to God for dear life. I see myself holding on to God, in my mind the traditional picture of Jesus, for dear life, and He is holding me steady. This depression will not move me away from who I am, for Jesus is holding me steady. I can add this to my image from Psalm 23. I can call on these images in the face of feeling that my soul is lost forever to depression.
Lord, help me to visualize you holding me steady. Let these image help my soul cling to you. Lead me to trust this image over the feelings of depression. Amen.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Psalm 62:1
For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation.
God, the one and only- I'll wait as long as he says.
In depression it feels as if I have no soul. This verse tells me that my soul is not lost, it is waiting in silence. What hope this gives me! There's a huge difference between a lost soul and a silent soul. It reminds me of when I get the flu, and the only thing to do is go to bed and rest. My soul is resting. Doesn't that sound healing? I can think of my soul as hibernating, so that it will be strong and unharmed when this depression lifts. My soul will wait as long as God says. That's a frustrating thought, but it also adds to the sense that my soul is sheltered from depression.
Lord, thank you for sheltering my soul during depression. Let this be reassuring to me. Help me to wait and hope for the salvation that only you offer. Bless all my efforts toward healing. Amen.
God, the one and only- I'll wait as long as he says.
In depression it feels as if I have no soul. This verse tells me that my soul is not lost, it is waiting in silence. What hope this gives me! There's a huge difference between a lost soul and a silent soul. It reminds me of when I get the flu, and the only thing to do is go to bed and rest. My soul is resting. Doesn't that sound healing? I can think of my soul as hibernating, so that it will be strong and unharmed when this depression lifts. My soul will wait as long as God says. That's a frustrating thought, but it also adds to the sense that my soul is sheltered from depression.
Lord, thank you for sheltering my soul during depression. Let this be reassuring to me. Help me to wait and hope for the salvation that only you offer. Bless all my efforts toward healing. Amen.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Psalm 61:5
For you, O God, hast heard my vows, you have given me the heritage of those who fear thy name.
You've always taken me seriously, God, made me welcome among those who know and love you.
My study Bible says this psalm is divided into 4 parts: the cry for help, the expression of trust, the prayer for the king, and the vow. This verse is an expression of trust. Depression may tell me that God does not hear me, but this verse encourages me to trust, to rely on God's grace and the hope that this illness will end. This verse says I am grouped with people who know and love God! Assume this is true. Trust that God hears you. Trust that God welcomes you among those who know and love Him. Trust that you belong in that company.
Lord, in depression I put my trust in lies. Open my heart to the trust I have in you, even if it feels weak or nonexistent. Build on that trust, so I can know and love you more. Amen.
You've always taken me seriously, God, made me welcome among those who know and love you.
My study Bible says this psalm is divided into 4 parts: the cry for help, the expression of trust, the prayer for the king, and the vow. This verse is an expression of trust. Depression may tell me that God does not hear me, but this verse encourages me to trust, to rely on God's grace and the hope that this illness will end. This verse says I am grouped with people who know and love God! Assume this is true. Trust that God hears you. Trust that God welcomes you among those who know and love Him. Trust that you belong in that company.
Lord, in depression I put my trust in lies. Open my heart to the trust I have in you, even if it feels weak or nonexistent. Build on that trust, so I can know and love you more. Amen.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Psalm 60:12
With God we shall do valiantly; it is he who will tread down our foes.
In God we'll do our very best; he'll flatten the opposition for good.
In depression the ordinary activities seem so important. When I wake up I am determined to get up and live my life by performing the ordinary tasks of the day. Then at night I make an accusing list of what I didn't do. I need to recite this verse when I start measuring my day, my illness, my recovery. God is guiding me toward wellness. "Valiantly" means "carried out with courage and determination." Trust that the day's activities were enough. Trust that your God-given courage and determination were enough. Trust that you are enough.
Lord, let me give up measuring myself. Give me the grace to recognize the courage and determination you have given me, and to know that, in your eyes, I am enough. Amen.
In God we'll do our very best; he'll flatten the opposition for good.
In depression the ordinary activities seem so important. When I wake up I am determined to get up and live my life by performing the ordinary tasks of the day. Then at night I make an accusing list of what I didn't do. I need to recite this verse when I start measuring my day, my illness, my recovery. God is guiding me toward wellness. "Valiantly" means "carried out with courage and determination." Trust that the day's activities were enough. Trust that your God-given courage and determination were enough. Trust that you are enough.
Lord, let me give up measuring myself. Give me the grace to recognize the courage and determination you have given me, and to know that, in your eyes, I am enough. Amen.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Psalm 59:17
O my strength, I will sing praises to you, for you, O God, are my fortress, the God who shows me steadfast love.
Strong God, I'm watching you do it, I can always count on you- God, my dependable love.
Depression makes me think about strength. The ailment itself seems like a weakness. I doubt that I am strong enough to survive depression, much less recover from it. This psalm stops those thoughts in their tracks. God is my strength. Not only does he provide strength, but he also protects me as a fortress and provides never-changing love. Surely that will get me through the activities and decisions of today. Confidently call on God as "My strength." Praise God right now for the strength, protection, and love he has shown you today. Alleluia!
Lord, fill me with praise for the strength you provide; the strength that you have provided throughout my life. Alleluia! Amen.
Strong God, I'm watching you do it, I can always count on you- God, my dependable love.
Depression makes me think about strength. The ailment itself seems like a weakness. I doubt that I am strong enough to survive depression, much less recover from it. This psalm stops those thoughts in their tracks. God is my strength. Not only does he provide strength, but he also protects me as a fortress and provides never-changing love. Surely that will get me through the activities and decisions of today. Confidently call on God as "My strength." Praise God right now for the strength, protection, and love he has shown you today. Alleluia!
Lord, fill me with praise for the strength you provide; the strength that you have provided throughout my life. Alleluia! Amen.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Psalm 58:11
People will say, "Surely there is a reward for the righteous; surely there is a God who judges on earth."
"It's worth it to play by the rules! God's handing out trophies and tending the earth!"
Depression may say that you are not righteous, but that is a lie. You are righteous. You don't need to be afraid of God's judgment, or see depression as his judgment. You are "free from guilt or sin" because of Jesus' death and resurrection. You are righteous. That closes the discussion on issues of what you do or do not deserve. The judgments of depression are harsh and untrue. God has judged you and found you to be his good creation, deserving of his grace. Dwell on this: "I am God's good creation, deserving of his grace."
Lord, fill me with confidence that you have judged me as righteous and deserving of your grace. Help me to replace my own judgments with your merciful grace. Amen.
"It's worth it to play by the rules! God's handing out trophies and tending the earth!"
Depression may say that you are not righteous, but that is a lie. You are righteous. You don't need to be afraid of God's judgment, or see depression as his judgment. You are "free from guilt or sin" because of Jesus' death and resurrection. You are righteous. That closes the discussion on issues of what you do or do not deserve. The judgments of depression are harsh and untrue. God has judged you and found you to be his good creation, deserving of his grace. Dwell on this: "I am God's good creation, deserving of his grace."
Lord, fill me with confidence that you have judged me as righteous and deserving of your grace. Help me to replace my own judgments with your merciful grace. Amen.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Psalm 57:2
I cry to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.
I call out to High God, the God who holds me together.
Depression has sapped my confidence. I question my ability to take care of my family and do my job. A measure of wellness has become how confident I am in my ability to do God's will. This psalm answers that doubt. God has a purpose for me and this depression is not going to prevent him from making it happen. Fulfill means "to convert into reality." His purpose for me will become reality in spite of depression or even through this depression. The doubts that depression has raised may lead me to knowing God's purpose for me.
Lord, the psalms remind me over and over again that you are working for my good. Lead me to wellness so that your purpose for me can become a reality. Amen.
I call out to High God, the God who holds me together.
Depression has sapped my confidence. I question my ability to take care of my family and do my job. A measure of wellness has become how confident I am in my ability to do God's will. This psalm answers that doubt. God has a purpose for me and this depression is not going to prevent him from making it happen. Fulfill means "to convert into reality." His purpose for me will become reality in spite of depression or even through this depression. The doubts that depression has raised may lead me to knowing God's purpose for me.
Lord, the psalms remind me over and over again that you are working for my good. Lead me to wellness so that your purpose for me can become a reality. Amen.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Psalm 56:3
In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I am not afraid; what can flesh do to me?
I'm proud to praise God; fearless now, I trust in God. What can mere mortals do?
Depression fills us with doubt. Depression has made me doubt God's presence in my life and my ability to survive. I want to believe this psalm with all my heart. I pray God's word because it comforts me. I trust God because I know my recovery is coming from him. I am not afraid because the doubt is part of the disease. This depression does not define me. Dwell on this psalm. Recite it over and over. Trust in your future because you are in God's loving care. What a perfect response to all the lies of depression!
Lord, I praise you for reaching me through this disease. Let these words comfort me. This illness cannot destroy me because I am in your loving care. Amen.
I'm proud to praise God; fearless now, I trust in God. What can mere mortals do?
Depression fills us with doubt. Depression has made me doubt God's presence in my life and my ability to survive. I want to believe this psalm with all my heart. I pray God's word because it comforts me. I trust God because I know my recovery is coming from him. I am not afraid because the doubt is part of the disease. This depression does not define me. Dwell on this psalm. Recite it over and over. Trust in your future because you are in God's loving care. What a perfect response to all the lies of depression!
Lord, I praise you for reaching me through this disease. Let these words comfort me. This illness cannot destroy me because I am in your loving care. Amen.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Psalm 55:4
My heart is in anguish within me, the terrors of death have fallen upon me.
My insides are turned inside out; specters of death have me down.
One aspect of depression may be suicidal thoughts. Sometimes in depression the thought of death does not fill us with terror. This psalm tells me that death should fill me with terror. God created me and his desire is for me to live. Suicidal thoughts are specters of death. A specter is "something that haunts or perturbs the mind." Suicidal thoughts are part of depression, part of the disease. They are not part of God's presence and guidance. God is leading you to health. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, answer them with Psalm 54: "The Lord is the upholder of my life."
Lord, suicidal thoughts come from the disease of depression. Keep me strong against those thoughts knowing that your will for me is a healthy life. Continue to uphold my life. Amen.
My insides are turned inside out; specters of death have me down.
One aspect of depression may be suicidal thoughts. Sometimes in depression the thought of death does not fill us with terror. This psalm tells me that death should fill me with terror. God created me and his desire is for me to live. Suicidal thoughts are specters of death. A specter is "something that haunts or perturbs the mind." Suicidal thoughts are part of depression, part of the disease. They are not part of God's presence and guidance. God is leading you to health. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, answer them with Psalm 54: "The Lord is the upholder of my life."
Lord, suicidal thoughts come from the disease of depression. Keep me strong against those thoughts knowing that your will for me is a healthy life. Continue to uphold my life. Amen.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Psalm 54:4
But surely, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life.
Oh, look! God's right here helping! God's on my side.
Here, again, is confidence in the wisdom of seeking God. When I seek God I see his presence in my life, upholding my life, helping. One definition of uphold is "to support against an opponent." Yes, God is with you supporting you against depression. Think of the signs of God's presence in your life. Give thanks for the people and circumstances that are helping you. Be confident that any strength and healing you have experienced shows that God is supporting you against depression. When depression tells you that God is not with you, answer that thought with this psalm.
Lord, open my heart with confidence that these words are true in my life. Fill me with thoughts of how you have upheld me during this depression. Let the psalmist's confidence be my confidence. Amen.
Oh, look! God's right here helping! God's on my side.
Here, again, is confidence in the wisdom of seeking God. When I seek God I see his presence in my life, upholding my life, helping. One definition of uphold is "to support against an opponent." Yes, God is with you supporting you against depression. Think of the signs of God's presence in your life. Give thanks for the people and circumstances that are helping you. Be confident that any strength and healing you have experienced shows that God is supporting you against depression. When depression tells you that God is not with you, answer that thought with this psalm.
Lord, open my heart with confidence that these words are true in my life. Fill me with thoughts of how you have upheld me during this depression. Let the psalmist's confidence be my confidence. Amen.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Psalm 53:2
God looks down from heaven on humankind to see if there are any who are wise, who seek after God.
God sticks his head out of heaven. He looks around. He's looking for someone not stupid- one man, even, God-expectant, just one God-ready woman.
You are wise. Depression may tell you that you've made the wrong decisions, but you've always done the best you could. Depression may tell you that you can't figure anything out, but depression makes it very difficult to figure things out. That's why it's so important to have people to help you find your way through this. Keep using those people God has put into your life. Keep walking and taking care of yourself. Most importantly, keep seeking God's comfort and guidance. In all of the confusion of depression, know that seeking after God shows your wisdom.
Lord, help me trust the wisdom of seeking your comfort and guidance. Help me see your guidance in my decisions. Lead me out of depression. Amen.
God sticks his head out of heaven. He looks around. He's looking for someone not stupid- one man, even, God-expectant, just one God-ready woman.
You are wise. Depression may tell you that you've made the wrong decisions, but you've always done the best you could. Depression may tell you that you can't figure anything out, but depression makes it very difficult to figure things out. That's why it's so important to have people to help you find your way through this. Keep using those people God has put into your life. Keep walking and taking care of yourself. Most importantly, keep seeking God's comfort and guidance. In all of the confusion of depression, know that seeking after God shows your wisdom.
Lord, help me trust the wisdom of seeking your comfort and guidance. Help me see your guidance in my decisions. Lead me out of depression. Amen.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Psalm 52:8
But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God. I trust in the steadfast love of God forever and ever.
And I'm an olive tree, growing green in God's house. I trusted in the generous mercy of God then and now.
When I was content with my life, I trusted that all my blessings were due to God's generous mercy. During this depression, I have struggled to trust in his mercy. I don't feel deserving of the love and care shown to me by my family and friends. I don't feel confident in my professional care and the choices I have made. Even the simple choices, like eating and walking every day, have become a struggle. Where is God's mercy when I'm still sick? This verse tells us to trust in God's mercy no matter what our circumstance. God's mercy is in my life this very day.
Lord, you are the source of steadfast love and generous mercy. It is your intention that I experience these from you during times of contentment as well as times of difficulty. Let me experience the comfort of your love and mercy as I recover from depression. Amen.
And I'm an olive tree, growing green in God's house. I trusted in the generous mercy of God then and now.
When I was content with my life, I trusted that all my blessings were due to God's generous mercy. During this depression, I have struggled to trust in his mercy. I don't feel deserving of the love and care shown to me by my family and friends. I don't feel confident in my professional care and the choices I have made. Even the simple choices, like eating and walking every day, have become a struggle. Where is God's mercy when I'm still sick? This verse tells us to trust in God's mercy no matter what our circumstance. God's mercy is in my life this very day.
Lord, you are the source of steadfast love and generous mercy. It is your intention that I experience these from you during times of contentment as well as times of difficulty. Let me experience the comfort of your love and mercy as I recover from depression. Amen.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Psalm 51:6
You desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart.
What you're after is truth from the inside out. Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.
Depression is a disease of lies. Some of the lies are old, from your days before depression. Some of the lies were conceived with the depression. Either way, recovery from depression includes replacing the lies with truth. God wants you filled with the truth, and only the truth. The truth and wisdom God teaches is of your worth and value. You are his creation, and that means you are good. You are his child and he delights in you. He wants you to experience the truth of his delight. God intends for you to recover from this depression and to live the truth of who you are.
Lord, you are truth. Let your word and your presence comfort me in this depression and bring me to recovery filled with the truth of your love and delight for me. Amen.
What you're after is truth from the inside out. Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.
Depression is a disease of lies. Some of the lies are old, from your days before depression. Some of the lies were conceived with the depression. Either way, recovery from depression includes replacing the lies with truth. God wants you filled with the truth, and only the truth. The truth and wisdom God teaches is of your worth and value. You are his creation, and that means you are good. You are his child and he delights in you. He wants you to experience the truth of his delight. God intends for you to recover from this depression and to live the truth of who you are.
Lord, you are truth. Let your word and your presence comfort me in this depression and bring me to recovery filled with the truth of your love and delight for me. Amen.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Psalm 50:15
Call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.
And call for help when you're in trouble- I'll help you, and you'll honor me.
Deliver means "to set free." I want to be set free from this depression so that I can be myself. It's good to want that because it means that I know this depressed me isn't the real me. God knows this, too, because he is my creator. The psalmist is so confident in God's love that he writes this psalm from God's point of view. Let's assume this to be true today. How has God delivered you today? How have you glorified him? Any step you take toward your recovery shows God's deliverance and glorifies him. Your faith, even if mustard seed-sized, shows God's deliverance and glorifies him.
Lord, thank you for the faith to keep calling on you. Open my heart to your deliverance. Let me glorify you today. Amen.
And call for help when you're in trouble- I'll help you, and you'll honor me.
Deliver means "to set free." I want to be set free from this depression so that I can be myself. It's good to want that because it means that I know this depressed me isn't the real me. God knows this, too, because he is my creator. The psalmist is so confident in God's love that he writes this psalm from God's point of view. Let's assume this to be true today. How has God delivered you today? How have you glorified him? Any step you take toward your recovery shows God's deliverance and glorifies him. Your faith, even if mustard seed-sized, shows God's deliverance and glorifies him.
Lord, thank you for the faith to keep calling on you. Open my heart to your deliverance. Let me glorify you today. Amen.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Psalm 49:7
Truly, no ransom avails for one's life, there is no price one can give to God for it.
Really! There's no such thing as self-rescue, pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps.
It's so hard for me to give this depression and recovery up to God. Over and over the psalms tell us that strength and hope are found in God, and God alone. This seems easier for the psalmist to accept. It seems that I've given this depression and this recovery over to God many times, only to snatch it back again and again. Why? I want a time line. I want to know the future, when all I can ever know for sure is that my life is in God's hands. This I must believe, or else I will be defenseless against the despair of depression.
Lord, my life is yours. Help me to give it to you once and for all. Open my heart to the peace that comes from being in your hands. Amen.
.
Really! There's no such thing as self-rescue, pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps.
It's so hard for me to give this depression and recovery up to God. Over and over the psalms tell us that strength and hope are found in God, and God alone. This seems easier for the psalmist to accept. It seems that I've given this depression and this recovery over to God many times, only to snatch it back again and again. Why? I want a time line. I want to know the future, when all I can ever know for sure is that my life is in God's hands. This I must believe, or else I will be defenseless against the despair of depression.
Lord, my life is yours. Help me to give it to you once and for all. Open my heart to the peace that comes from being in your hands. Amen.
.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Psalm 48:9
We ponder your steadfast love, O God, in the midst of your temple.
We pondered your love-in-action, God, waiting in your temple:
What does God's steadfast love mean in the midst of a depression? My thoughts are filled with longing and groans and doubts. Let's look at the temple: I am God's temple. God's temple is not well and whole, it is diseased with depression. I am pondering (to think or consider especially quietly, soberly, and deeply) God's never-changing love for me at a time when my mind is weak and I need the reassurance of his love so desperately. It brings me back to acceptance. Here I am, Lord, in this body, your temple. I can only believe that you love me and are with me.
Lord, my body does not feel worthy of being your temple. Fill me with your peace as I ponder your steadfast love. Open my heart to experience your love-in-action. Amen.
We pondered your love-in-action, God, waiting in your temple:
What does God's steadfast love mean in the midst of a depression? My thoughts are filled with longing and groans and doubts. Let's look at the temple: I am God's temple. God's temple is not well and whole, it is diseased with depression. I am pondering (to think or consider especially quietly, soberly, and deeply) God's never-changing love for me at a time when my mind is weak and I need the reassurance of his love so desperately. It brings me back to acceptance. Here I am, Lord, in this body, your temple. I can only believe that you love me and are with me.
Lord, my body does not feel worthy of being your temple. Fill me with your peace as I ponder your steadfast love. Open my heart to experience your love-in-action. Amen.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Psalm 47:6
Sing praises to God, sing praises; sing praises to our King, sing praises.
Sing songs to God, sing out! Sing to our king, sing praise!
I've been singing the song of praise from an old liturgy when I wake up and when I go to bed. Sometimes I sing it out loud, and sometimes I sing it in my head. My heart isn't always in it, and sometimes my mind wanders in the middle and I have to start over. It's not easy to sing praises in a depression, but it can be done. I'm thinking along the "fake it 'til you make it" line, and reminding myself of the power of the God I believe in. I have no faith in my own power right now, and the song of praise is one way of turning this depression and my recovery over to my Almighty God.
Lord, I praise you for your power. I know that any recovery I experience comes from your power. Fill my heart with praises for you. Amen.
Sing songs to God, sing out! Sing to our king, sing praise!
I've been singing the song of praise from an old liturgy when I wake up and when I go to bed. Sometimes I sing it out loud, and sometimes I sing it in my head. My heart isn't always in it, and sometimes my mind wanders in the middle and I have to start over. It's not easy to sing praises in a depression, but it can be done. I'm thinking along the "fake it 'til you make it" line, and reminding myself of the power of the God I believe in. I have no faith in my own power right now, and the song of praise is one way of turning this depression and my recovery over to my Almighty God.
Lord, I praise you for your power. I know that any recovery I experience comes from your power. Fill my heart with praises for you. Amen.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Psalm 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him.
I have talked about how God uses the people in our lives to help us. This psalm tells us that God is also present with us personally. When I think I am all alone, God is available to me. I have to admit, I am not very good at sensing God's presence. My faith tells me he is there, but I don't feel his comfort and peace. Maybe that's why I keep looking for his presence in the people I love. My prayer is for God to use this depression to teach me to feel his presence. In this dark disease, I have cried out to a God I refuse to stop believing in. Is that God's presence?
Lord, I believe in the peace that only you can give, but I don't know how to experience it. Open my heart to your presence, Lord. Let me hide in you when I need you. Amen.
God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him.
I have talked about how God uses the people in our lives to help us. This psalm tells us that God is also present with us personally. When I think I am all alone, God is available to me. I have to admit, I am not very good at sensing God's presence. My faith tells me he is there, but I don't feel his comfort and peace. Maybe that's why I keep looking for his presence in the people I love. My prayer is for God to use this depression to teach me to feel his presence. In this dark disease, I have cried out to a God I refuse to stop believing in. Is that God's presence?
Lord, I believe in the peace that only you can give, but I don't know how to experience it. Open my heart to your presence, Lord. Let me hide in you when I need you. Amen.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Psalm 45:7
Therefore God, your God, has anointed you with the oil of gladness beyond your companions;
And that is why God, your very own God, poured fragrant oil on your head, marking you out as king from among your dear companions.
Have you ever been anointed? I've been anointed with oil and found it to be a very powerful experience. I was anointed most recently for the healing of this depression. This verse captured my attention because of the image of God anointing me with the oil of gladness. That is an image to hang onto! It also reminds me of my baptism, of being marked with the sign of the cross forever. Carry those images in your heart. Picture yourself anointed with gladness by God. Remember that you are God's beloved child.
Lord, I close my eyes and picture you pouring healing oil of gladness on my head. Let your oil cleanse my mind of this depression so that I can feel the gladness. Amen.
And that is why God, your very own God, poured fragrant oil on your head, marking you out as king from among your dear companions.
Have you ever been anointed? I've been anointed with oil and found it to be a very powerful experience. I was anointed most recently for the healing of this depression. This verse captured my attention because of the image of God anointing me with the oil of gladness. That is an image to hang onto! It also reminds me of my baptism, of being marked with the sign of the cross forever. Carry those images in your heart. Picture yourself anointed with gladness by God. Remember that you are God's beloved child.
Lord, I close my eyes and picture you pouring healing oil of gladness on my head. Let your oil cleanse my mind of this depression so that I can feel the gladness. Amen.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Psalm 44:26
Rise up, come to our help. Redeem us for the sake of your steadfast love.
Get up and come to our rescue. If you love us so much, Help us!
I am always stunned by how the psalmist directs God, even though I know I've been just as direct. I've told God to heal me now and give me my life back. I've told God to take my life because I don't want to suffer one more second. My faith tells me that God is helping me. This verse makes me wonder if I'm expecting God and the people who are helping me to do all the work. Have you ever tried to pick up a child who doesn't want to be picked up? I need to be active in this recovery, too. God loves you so much. He is helping you.
Lord, keep my thoughts on your love for me. Build on my hopes for recovery so that we can work together toward an end to this depression. Amen.
Get up and come to our rescue. If you love us so much, Help us!
I am always stunned by how the psalmist directs God, even though I know I've been just as direct. I've told God to heal me now and give me my life back. I've told God to take my life because I don't want to suffer one more second. My faith tells me that God is helping me. This verse makes me wonder if I'm expecting God and the people who are helping me to do all the work. Have you ever tried to pick up a child who doesn't want to be picked up? I need to be active in this recovery, too. God loves you so much. He is helping you.
Lord, keep my thoughts on your love for me. Build on my hopes for recovery so that we can work together toward an end to this depression. Amen.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Psalm 43:3
O send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling.
Give me your lantern and compass, give me a map, So I can find my way to the sacred mountain, to the place of your presence.
Sounds like we're going on a hike, but you don't need to go hiking to find God's presence. He's with you right now. Think of the lantern, compass, and map as the methods God uses to lead you out of depression. Think of healthy eating, exercising, and positive thinking. It is a hike to get out of depression, but God is with you, leading you out. Keep focused on God's word and let it light your way. Dwell especially on the verses that tell you of God's deep love for you. They are powerful tools against the negative thoughts that may fill your mind during depression.
Lord, thank you for being with me. Fill my mind with your light and truth, so that I can find my way out of depression. Amen.
Give me your lantern and compass, give me a map, So I can find my way to the sacred mountain, to the place of your presence.
Sounds like we're going on a hike, but you don't need to go hiking to find God's presence. He's with you right now. Think of the lantern, compass, and map as the methods God uses to lead you out of depression. Think of healthy eating, exercising, and positive thinking. It is a hike to get out of depression, but God is with you, leading you out. Keep focused on God's word and let it light your way. Dwell especially on the verses that tell you of God's deep love for you. They are powerful tools against the negative thoughts that may fill your mind during depression.
Lord, thank you for being with me. Fill my mind with your light and truth, so that I can find my way out of depression. Amen.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Psalm 42:5
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my help and my God.
Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God- soon I'll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He's my God.
I have asked myself these questions, listed all the reasons I shouldn't be depressed, even scolded myself to snap out of this. It doesn't work. Why? Because I'm sick. I have a disease. While the thinking component is important in recovering from depression, that's not all there is. I also need to exercise, take medicine, eat, sleep, and fix my eyes on God. Don't let this verse sound like a scolding. My soul is cast down and disquieted because I have an illness called depression. I have the "hope of the hopeless," however, when I fix my eyes on God.
Lord, I want to be praising you again. I want my praises for you to come naturally and spontaneously, from my joyful soul. Keep my hope in you. Amen.
Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God- soon I'll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He's my God.
I have asked myself these questions, listed all the reasons I shouldn't be depressed, even scolded myself to snap out of this. It doesn't work. Why? Because I'm sick. I have a disease. While the thinking component is important in recovering from depression, that's not all there is. I also need to exercise, take medicine, eat, sleep, and fix my eyes on God. Don't let this verse sound like a scolding. My soul is cast down and disquieted because I have an illness called depression. I have the "hope of the hopeless," however, when I fix my eyes on God.
Lord, I want to be praising you again. I want my praises for you to come naturally and spontaneously, from my joyful soul. Keep my hope in you. Amen.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Psalm 41:11
By this I know that you are pleased with me; because my enemy has not triumphed over me.
Meanwhile, I'm sure you're on my side - no victory shouts yet from the enemy camp!
Now this is something to dwell on: God is pleased with me. He knows about the discouragement of depression, and how difficult it is to keep working toward recovery. The Lord knows, especially, how easy it would be to give up. God is pleased with you and your steps toward recovery. God is pleased with you as you look to him for hope and strength. God is pleased with you. You may have trouble believing this. You may even think depression has triumphed. I say this: depression cannot triumph because God is pleased with you.
Lord, fill my heart with the surety that depression cannot triumph over me. Help me dwell on this: I know that you are pleased with me. Amen.
Meanwhile, I'm sure you're on my side - no victory shouts yet from the enemy camp!
Now this is something to dwell on: God is pleased with me. He knows about the discouragement of depression, and how difficult it is to keep working toward recovery. The Lord knows, especially, how easy it would be to give up. God is pleased with you and your steps toward recovery. God is pleased with you as you look to him for hope and strength. God is pleased with you. You may have trouble believing this. You may even think depression has triumphed. I say this: depression cannot triumph because God is pleased with you.
Lord, fill my heart with the surety that depression cannot triumph over me. Help me dwell on this: I know that you are pleased with me. Amen.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Psalm 40:2
He drew me up from the desolate pit, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.
He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn't slip.
Are you in talk therapy? I am, and it gets confusing sometimes. The therapist takes my deep muddy thoughts, and helps me rephrase them into solid rocks. Sometimes the shift is subtle, and often uncomfortable. Our phrases about depression show it to be a muddy place. We talk about "sinking into depression" and "crawling out of depression." God is using my therapist to lift me out of the ditch, and he's not going to leave me clinging to the side, sliding back down. He's going to set me on a secure rock. I have the rock of God's unfailing love and mercy to stand on.
Lord, let all my thoughts be built on the rock of your unfailing love and mercy. Please help me rephrase any muddy thoughts with the truth: I am your child and you are my God! Amen.
He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn't slip.
Are you in talk therapy? I am, and it gets confusing sometimes. The therapist takes my deep muddy thoughts, and helps me rephrase them into solid rocks. Sometimes the shift is subtle, and often uncomfortable. Our phrases about depression show it to be a muddy place. We talk about "sinking into depression" and "crawling out of depression." God is using my therapist to lift me out of the ditch, and he's not going to leave me clinging to the side, sliding back down. He's going to set me on a secure rock. I have the rock of God's unfailing love and mercy to stand on.
Lord, let all my thoughts be built on the rock of your unfailing love and mercy. Please help me rephrase any muddy thoughts with the truth: I am your child and you are my God! Amen.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Psalm 39:7
"And now, O Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in you."
"What am I doing in the meantime, Lord? Hoping, that's what I'm doing - hoping."
"To stay in one place in expectation of" the Lord's presence is difficult, if not impossible, without hope. One definition of hope is "to expect with confidence," making it the perfect companion for waiting. Here I am, in a depression, confidently expecting God's compassion and mercy. You might be disagreeing with that. You don't want to stay in this place, and you aren't confident. But is that true? You're reading this devotion, and that means you expect God's word to comfort and help you. Dwell on this: I confidently expect God's compassion and mercy.
Lord, I confidently expect your compassion and mercy. My hope in you may seem weak to me right now, but let me see it as a strength. Let me, in any place, be confident in my expectations of you. Amen.
"What am I doing in the meantime, Lord? Hoping, that's what I'm doing - hoping."
"To stay in one place in expectation of" the Lord's presence is difficult, if not impossible, without hope. One definition of hope is "to expect with confidence," making it the perfect companion for waiting. Here I am, in a depression, confidently expecting God's compassion and mercy. You might be disagreeing with that. You don't want to stay in this place, and you aren't confident. But is that true? You're reading this devotion, and that means you expect God's word to comfort and help you. Dwell on this: I confidently expect God's compassion and mercy.
Lord, I confidently expect your compassion and mercy. My hope in you may seem weak to me right now, but let me see it as a strength. Let me, in any place, be confident in my expectations of you. Amen.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Psalm 38:15
But it is for you, O Lord, that I wait; it is you, O Lord, who will answer.
What I do, God, is wait for you, wait for my Lord, my God - you will answer!
The definition of wait is "to stay in place in expectation of." With cell phones, computers, and 24 hour service, we have little need to wait. Depression, however, involves waiting. What are you expecting? Don't expect to stay in this place forever; that is a lie of depression. Trusting God means I can be in this place, in this depression, and expect God's presence. I can expect to feel his compassion and his mercy. Expecting these things opens my heart to experiencing them. How has God answered you today? Write down the ways God has answered your expectations today.
Lord, depression can make me expect to suffer forever. Help me expect your loving presence, compassion, and mercy. Open my heart to recognize you in my life. Amen.
What I do, God, is wait for you, wait for my Lord, my God - you will answer!
The definition of wait is "to stay in place in expectation of." With cell phones, computers, and 24 hour service, we have little need to wait. Depression, however, involves waiting. What are you expecting? Don't expect to stay in this place forever; that is a lie of depression. Trusting God means I can be in this place, in this depression, and expect God's presence. I can expect to feel his compassion and his mercy. Expecting these things opens my heart to experiencing them. How has God answered you today? Write down the ways God has answered your expectations today.
Lord, depression can make me expect to suffer forever. Help me expect your loving presence, compassion, and mercy. Open my heart to recognize you in my life. Amen.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Psalm 37:5
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will act.
Open up before God, keep nothing back; he'll do whatever needs to be done.
I commit my way out of this depression to God. Certainly I know that I can't find my own way out. I trust that the Lord is at work in my life, leading me out of depression to joy in him. The second translation tells me to open up and hold nothing back. That's comforting because I have been crying out to God, but not always in trust. I can trust God to not only walk me through this, but also to use depression to deepen my faith in him. God is doing whatever needs to be done to bring me to wholeness and wellness. By trusting in him, I will recognize his actions in my life.
Lord, help me, once again, to put this depression in your hands. Strengthen my trust in you. Do whatever needs to be done, Lord, to bring me closer to you. Amen.
Open up before God, keep nothing back; he'll do whatever needs to be done.
I commit my way out of this depression to God. Certainly I know that I can't find my own way out. I trust that the Lord is at work in my life, leading me out of depression to joy in him. The second translation tells me to open up and hold nothing back. That's comforting because I have been crying out to God, but not always in trust. I can trust God to not only walk me through this, but also to use depression to deepen my faith in him. God is doing whatever needs to be done to bring me to wholeness and wellness. By trusting in him, I will recognize his actions in my life.
Lord, help me, once again, to put this depression in your hands. Strengthen my trust in you. Do whatever needs to be done, Lord, to bring me closer to you. Amen.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Psalm 36:7
How precious is your steadfast love, O God! All people may take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
How exquisite your love, O God! How eager we are to run under your wings...
Depression feels like walking in shadow. It's difficult to trust what we see and hear. It's difficult to trust our thoughts. We may see problems where there aren't any, and be unable to make decisions about real problems. But shadows can also be cool and comforting, a place to rest. They can protect us and keep us out of sight for a while. Picture yourself safe under the wings of God. I can be comforted in the shadows of depression. I can look at it as a time to find comfort in my Lord, under the wings of his love and guidance. This is an opportunity to build trust in God's steadfast (unchanging) love.
Lord, your love never changes. Guide me to run under your wings for comforting rest. I know that only you can help me feel safe and protected during depression. Amen.
How exquisite your love, O God! How eager we are to run under your wings...
Depression feels like walking in shadow. It's difficult to trust what we see and hear. It's difficult to trust our thoughts. We may see problems where there aren't any, and be unable to make decisions about real problems. But shadows can also be cool and comforting, a place to rest. They can protect us and keep us out of sight for a while. Picture yourself safe under the wings of God. I can be comforted in the shadows of depression. I can look at it as a time to find comfort in my Lord, under the wings of his love and guidance. This is an opportunity to build trust in God's steadfast (unchanging) love.
Lord, your love never changes. Guide me to run under your wings for comforting rest. I know that only you can help me feel safe and protected during depression. Amen.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Psalm 35:28
Then my tongue shall tell of your righteousness and of your praise all day long.
I'll tell the world how great and good you are, I'll shout Hallelujah all day, every day.
This psalm has plenty of verses about what life is doing to me. This psalm has plenty of verses pleading with God for mercy. Finally, this psalm makes a deal: rescue me and I will praise you. Faith tells us that God's rescue is the only way through this, and he is at work right now. What if we start fulfilling our end of the bargain? What does shouting Hallelujah do to depression? Maybe it's a good time to find out. I've shouted pleas, complaints, and sobs. Could it be possible to shout a word of praise? Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Lord, open my heart to singing your praises. It feels awkward and forced, but I know that I was created to praise you. Even in depression I will praise you. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Amen.
I'll tell the world how great and good you are, I'll shout Hallelujah all day, every day.
This psalm has plenty of verses about what life is doing to me. This psalm has plenty of verses pleading with God for mercy. Finally, this psalm makes a deal: rescue me and I will praise you. Faith tells us that God's rescue is the only way through this, and he is at work right now. What if we start fulfilling our end of the bargain? What does shouting Hallelujah do to depression? Maybe it's a good time to find out. I've shouted pleas, complaints, and sobs. Could it be possible to shout a word of praise? Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Lord, open my heart to singing your praises. It feels awkward and forced, but I know that I was created to praise you. Even in depression I will praise you. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Amen.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Psalm 34:18
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit.
If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there; if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath.
Sometimes I wonder if God is using depression to help me catch my breath. He saw me on a path that was crushing my spirit. When the depression took over, he was near. He is near. I am brokenhearted and crushed in spirit. God is near, saving me. I may be tempted to think that my broken heart and crushed spirit mean that God has abandoned me. Not true. God does not guarantee his path to be free from pain and suffering, but he does promise to walk us through it. Keep dwelling on the signs that God is near. Use this time with God to catch your breath.
Lord, I am brokenhearted and you are near. Lord, I am crushed in spirit and you are saving me. Let me use this time with you to catch my breath. Amen.
If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there; if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath.
Sometimes I wonder if God is using depression to help me catch my breath. He saw me on a path that was crushing my spirit. When the depression took over, he was near. He is near. I am brokenhearted and crushed in spirit. God is near, saving me. I may be tempted to think that my broken heart and crushed spirit mean that God has abandoned me. Not true. God does not guarantee his path to be free from pain and suffering, but he does promise to walk us through it. Keep dwelling on the signs that God is near. Use this time with God to catch your breath.
Lord, I am brokenhearted and you are near. Lord, I am crushed in spirit and you are saving me. Let me use this time with you to catch my breath. Amen.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Psalm 33:15
...he who fashions the hearts of them all, and observes all their deeds.
He has shaped each person in turn; now he watches everything we do.
You are not alone. God created you and he is still watching out for you. It may not feel like he's watching out for us when we're sick with depression, but he is. Think of the ways he has helped you through this. Who is he using to help you get well? We have prayed for guidance in identifying the lying thoughts of depression. What lying thoughts has he helped you identify and even eliminate? We have prayed for truth in our thoughts. What truths has he planted in your mind? God created you and he is still watching out for you. Dwell on that thought.
Lord, you created me and you are watching out for me. What a blessing that is! Help me dwell on the blessings you have given me. Amen.
He has shaped each person in turn; now he watches everything we do.
You are not alone. God created you and he is still watching out for you. It may not feel like he's watching out for us when we're sick with depression, but he is. Think of the ways he has helped you through this. Who is he using to help you get well? We have prayed for guidance in identifying the lying thoughts of depression. What lying thoughts has he helped you identify and even eliminate? We have prayed for truth in our thoughts. What truths has he planted in your mind? God created you and he is still watching out for you. Dwell on that thought.
Lord, you created me and you are watching out for me. What a blessing that is! Help me dwell on the blessings you have given me. Amen.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Psalm 32:5
Then I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not hide my iniquity; I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord," and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
Then I let it all out; I said, "I'll make a clean breast of my failures to God." Suddenly the pressure was gone - my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared.
Sometimes I try so hard to be responsible for my depression. I look at my failures and character flaws as if they point to the reason I'm depressed. This psalm tells us otherwise. God forgives us our sins and our failures. An iniquity is "a wicked act." God forgives even wicked acts. You are forgiven for who you are and what you've done. Not only does he forgive you, but as we learned in Psalm 18, he delights in you! If God were holding on to your iniquity, he would not be able to delight in you. Embrace God's forgiveness and be delighted in who you are.
Lord, there is no reason for me to hold on to my sins when I have your forgiveness. Help me to fully experience your forgiveness. Let it lead to feeling delighted in who I am. Amen.
Then I let it all out; I said, "I'll make a clean breast of my failures to God." Suddenly the pressure was gone - my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared.
Sometimes I try so hard to be responsible for my depression. I look at my failures and character flaws as if they point to the reason I'm depressed. This psalm tells us otherwise. God forgives us our sins and our failures. An iniquity is "a wicked act." God forgives even wicked acts. You are forgiven for who you are and what you've done. Not only does he forgive you, but as we learned in Psalm 18, he delights in you! If God were holding on to your iniquity, he would not be able to delight in you. Embrace God's forgiveness and be delighted in who you are.
Lord, there is no reason for me to hold on to my sins when I have your forgiveness. Help me to fully experience your forgiveness. Let it lead to feeling delighted in who I am. Amen.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Psalm 31:14
But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, "You are my God."
Desperate, I throw myself on you: you are my God!
I have read over and over how God uses life's difficulties to bring us closer to him. Is God using depression to bring you closer to him? Yes. When I first realized that I was in a major depression, I somehow found the energy to research on-line, read books, and put my trust in a psychiatrist and a talk therapist. I groaned and prayed to God for an end to this, but trust? I turned to the 23rd Psalm, which I read over and over each day. That was how I realized that the help I was desperate for could only come from God. In my life, God is using depression to bring me to him, trust him, and say, "You are my God."
Lord, help me to feel you at work in this depression. Lead me to put my trust in you. Let me exclaim, "You are my God" in my desperation and in my joy. Amen.
Desperate, I throw myself on you: you are my God!
I have read over and over how God uses life's difficulties to bring us closer to him. Is God using depression to bring you closer to him? Yes. When I first realized that I was in a major depression, I somehow found the energy to research on-line, read books, and put my trust in a psychiatrist and a talk therapist. I groaned and prayed to God for an end to this, but trust? I turned to the 23rd Psalm, which I read over and over each day. That was how I realized that the help I was desperate for could only come from God. In my life, God is using depression to bring me to him, trust him, and say, "You are my God."
Lord, help me to feel you at work in this depression. Lead me to put my trust in you. Let me exclaim, "You are my God" in my desperation and in my joy. Amen.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Psalm 30:2-3
O Lord, my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me. O Lord, you brought up my soul from Sheol, restored me to life from among those gone down to the Pit.
God, my God, I yelled for help and you put me together. God, you pulled me out of the grave, gave me another chance at life when I was down and out.
Depression is giving you another chance at life. No matter what the cause, or combination of causes, there is a way through and you will be different. Sometimes I cry that I'm lost and will never be myself again. That's partly true. I tell myself that the joyful parts of me are still there and will show themselves again. It's the part that led me into depression that will be different. Pay attention to the different aspects of your recovery: the medical, the psychological, and the self-care, like diet, exercise, and stress reduction. God is using them to restore you to life.
Lord, let me see the ways you have healed me. Guide me in all aspects of recovery, and work through them to give me another chance at this gift of life. Amen.
God, my God, I yelled for help and you put me together. God, you pulled me out of the grave, gave me another chance at life when I was down and out.
Depression is giving you another chance at life. No matter what the cause, or combination of causes, there is a way through and you will be different. Sometimes I cry that I'm lost and will never be myself again. That's partly true. I tell myself that the joyful parts of me are still there and will show themselves again. It's the part that led me into depression that will be different. Pay attention to the different aspects of your recovery: the medical, the psychological, and the self-care, like diet, exercise, and stress reduction. God is using them to restore you to life.
Lord, let me see the ways you have healed me. Guide me in all aspects of recovery, and work through them to give me another chance at this gift of life. Amen.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Psalm 29:11
May the Lord give strength to his people! May the Lord bless his people with peace!
God makes his people strong. God gives his people peace.
I like the second translation better because it's happening right now. God is giving you strength and peace right now. He has been all along, and he will continue to do so. The problem is, depression can make it difficult to believe it. I assume that if I had God's strength and peace I'd feel fine and not depressed. I have to look for God's strength and peace in my life. Seeking treatment is a sign of strength and peace. Being active, to whatever degree, is also a sign. Every step you take in your recovery is because of the strength and peace given to you by God.
Lord, in depression I can feel weak and hopeless. Open my heart to the strength and peace you give me. Help me to recognize them working in my life. Amen.
God makes his people strong. God gives his people peace.
I like the second translation better because it's happening right now. God is giving you strength and peace right now. He has been all along, and he will continue to do so. The problem is, depression can make it difficult to believe it. I assume that if I had God's strength and peace I'd feel fine and not depressed. I have to look for God's strength and peace in my life. Seeking treatment is a sign of strength and peace. Being active, to whatever degree, is also a sign. Every step you take in your recovery is because of the strength and peace given to you by God.
Lord, in depression I can feel weak and hopeless. Open my heart to the strength and peace you give me. Help me to recognize them working in my life. Amen.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Psalm 28:1
To you, O Lord, I call; my rock, do not refuse to hear me, for if you are silent to me, I shall be like those who go down to the Pit.
Don't turn a deaf ear when I call you, God. If all I get from you is deafening silence, I'd be better off in the Black Hole.
A black hole is "a celestial object that has a gravitational field so strong that light cannot escape it." I was going along, living my life, and then I got sucked into the black hole of depression. I felt so out of reach that light couldn't find me. But look at the definition: depression keeps light from escaping you. Depression might be hindering your inner light from shining through, but it's still there. You are still you, a unique individual loved by God, and as you recover from depression more and more of your inner light will escape and shine on those you love.
Lord, keep me mindful of being your beloved unique creation. Guide my recovery so that my inner light can shine as you intended. Amen.
Don't turn a deaf ear when I call you, God. If all I get from you is deafening silence, I'd be better off in the Black Hole.
A black hole is "a celestial object that has a gravitational field so strong that light cannot escape it." I was going along, living my life, and then I got sucked into the black hole of depression. I felt so out of reach that light couldn't find me. But look at the definition: depression keeps light from escaping you. Depression might be hindering your inner light from shining through, but it's still there. You are still you, a unique individual loved by God, and as you recover from depression more and more of your inner light will escape and shine on those you love.
Lord, keep me mindful of being your beloved unique creation. Guide my recovery so that my inner light can shine as you intended. Amen.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Psalm 27:8
"Come," my heart says, "seek his face!"
When my heart whispered, "Seek God," my whole being replied, "I'm seeking him!"
You are seeking God's face. There is hope in you, hope that God is with you. Even in depression, your heart whispers, "Seek God," and you respond. Grab on to that hope, because hope is a very important aspect of treating any disease. Since depression involves a feeling of hopelessness, any glimmer of hope is even more important in your treatment. Your hope is also very well-founded, because all information about depression states that it is often successfully treated. Accept depression and treat depression. Remind yourself of your hope, and continue to seek God and his comfort.
Lord, I know that any whispers in my heart come from you. Keep me focused on the signs of faith and hope in each day. Keep me focused on recovery, so that I may serve you and glorify you. Amen.
When my heart whispered, "Seek God," my whole being replied, "I'm seeking him!"
You are seeking God's face. There is hope in you, hope that God is with you. Even in depression, your heart whispers, "Seek God," and you respond. Grab on to that hope, because hope is a very important aspect of treating any disease. Since depression involves a feeling of hopelessness, any glimmer of hope is even more important in your treatment. Your hope is also very well-founded, because all information about depression states that it is often successfully treated. Accept depression and treat depression. Remind yourself of your hope, and continue to seek God and his comfort.
Lord, I know that any whispers in my heart come from you. Keep me focused on the signs of faith and hope in each day. Keep me focused on recovery, so that I may serve you and glorify you. Amen.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Psalm 26:3
For your steadfast love is before my eyes, and I walk in faithfulness to you.
So I never lose sight of your love, But keep in step with you, never missing a beat.
I do not feel in step with God right now. I do not feel his steadfast love in depression. In fact, depression makes me feel separated from God, unloved by God. That is how I feel, but that is not what I believe. I believe that God is with me, loving me. I believe that the way depression makes me feel is a lie, but God's love for me is true. I believe that depression is temporary, but God's love for me is eternal. These beliefs give me the strength to challenge the lies of depression, and counter them with thoughts that are true. I may be taking baby steps, but I am walking with God.
Lord, it would be too easy to believe the feelings of being separated and unloved. Fill me with thoughts of you lovingly walking me through depression, back in step with you. Amen.
So I never lose sight of your love, But keep in step with you, never missing a beat.
I do not feel in step with God right now. I do not feel his steadfast love in depression. In fact, depression makes me feel separated from God, unloved by God. That is how I feel, but that is not what I believe. I believe that God is with me, loving me. I believe that the way depression makes me feel is a lie, but God's love for me is true. I believe that depression is temporary, but God's love for me is eternal. These beliefs give me the strength to challenge the lies of depression, and counter them with thoughts that are true. I may be taking baby steps, but I am walking with God.
Lord, it would be too easy to believe the feelings of being separated and unloved. Fill me with thoughts of you lovingly walking me through depression, back in step with you. Amen.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Psalm 25:17
May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you.
Use all your skill to put me together; I wait to see your finished product.
Integrity: "an unimpaired condition." God is using all his skills to put you together into an unimpaired condition. God is working through your professionals and the people you love, and God is working through you. Yes, each step that you take toward integrity shows God working in and through you. We're waiting for healing, but we can't just wait. Recovery requires action. Look for the opportunities for action God provides you today: opportunities to move your body, appreciate beauty, and smile.
Lord, as much as I want to leave this depression, sometimes it's difficult to act healthy. It's so tempting to isolate myself. Help me say yes to the opportunities for action that you provide today. Amen.
Use all your skill to put me together; I wait to see your finished product.
Integrity: "an unimpaired condition." God is using all his skills to put you together into an unimpaired condition. God is working through your professionals and the people you love, and God is working through you. Yes, each step that you take toward integrity shows God working in and through you. We're waiting for healing, but we can't just wait. Recovery requires action. Look for the opportunities for action God provides you today: opportunities to move your body, appreciate beauty, and smile.
Lord, as much as I want to leave this depression, sometimes it's difficult to act healthy. It's so tempting to isolate myself. Help me say yes to the opportunities for action that you provide today. Amen.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Psalm 24:5
They will receive blessing from the Lord, and vindication from the God of their salvation.
God is at their side; with God's help they make it.
A blessing is "a thing conducive to happiness or welfare." You and God both want the same thing: your happiness and welfare! That is such a relief. God is at your side, helping you through this depression, and leading you toward happiness and welfare. You aren't alone here. You have set your eyes on God and the hope that he brings, and he is helping you to make it through this. Think of the people who are a blessing to you right now. Think of the treatment decisions you've made that are a blessing to you right now. Think of God at your side, blessing you.
Lord, it's so hard to recognize your blessings. Help me to trust that you are at my side, blessing me now and preparing blessings for my future. With your help I will make it. Amen.
God is at their side; with God's help they make it.
A blessing is "a thing conducive to happiness or welfare." You and God both want the same thing: your happiness and welfare! That is such a relief. God is at your side, helping you through this depression, and leading you toward happiness and welfare. You aren't alone here. You have set your eyes on God and the hope that he brings, and he is helping you to make it through this. Think of the people who are a blessing to you right now. Think of the treatment decisions you've made that are a blessing to you right now. Think of God at your side, blessing you.
Lord, it's so hard to recognize your blessings. Help me to trust that you are at my side, blessing me now and preparing blessings for my future. With your help I will make it. Amen.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff - they comfort me.
Even when the way goes through Death Valley, I'm not afraid when you walk by my side. Your trusty shepherd's crook makes me feel secure.
This one is hard because I am afraid. I'm afraid I'll make the wrong decisions, I'm afraid I'll never feel like myself again, and I'm afraid that this dark valley is my new home. The shepherd's crook is for hooking around the sheep and pulling it back where it belongs. I've pictured myself in the shepherd's crook with God pulling me up, out of the dark valley. So how do I answer my fears? I dwell on the image of God pulling me out of depression. I accept depression and treat depression knowing God is with me. This dark valley is not my new home.
Lord, calm my fears and lift me out of this dark valley. Guide me and the people helping me, so that I can see more of your light each day. Amen.
Even when the way goes through Death Valley, I'm not afraid when you walk by my side. Your trusty shepherd's crook makes me feel secure.
This one is hard because I am afraid. I'm afraid I'll make the wrong decisions, I'm afraid I'll never feel like myself again, and I'm afraid that this dark valley is my new home. The shepherd's crook is for hooking around the sheep and pulling it back where it belongs. I've pictured myself in the shepherd's crook with God pulling me up, out of the dark valley. So how do I answer my fears? I dwell on the image of God pulling me out of depression. I accept depression and treat depression knowing God is with me. This dark valley is not my new home.
Lord, calm my fears and lift me out of this dark valley. Guide me and the people helping me, so that I can see more of your light each day. Amen.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Psalm 22:24
For he did not despise or abhor the affliction of the afflicted; he did not hide his face from me, but heard when I cried to him.
He has never let you down, never looked the other way when you were being kicked around. He has never wandered off to do his own thing; he has been right there, listening.
Despise means "to regard as negligible, worthless, or distasteful." Negligible means "...so unimportant or of so little consequence as to warrant little or no attention." I would say that feeling negligible and worthless warrants a diagnosis of depression and much attention. You may despise yourself and your illness, but your thoughts on this don't count here. God does not despise you or your depression; he is with you, strengthening you and listening to you. Answer your negative thoughts: "God does not despise me or the depression. He hears me when I cry to him." And keep crying to him!
Lord, depression can make me despise myself. Keep me focused on you and your love for me. Open my heart to feel you right here, listening. Amen.
He has never let you down, never looked the other way when you were being kicked around. He has never wandered off to do his own thing; he has been right there, listening.
Despise means "to regard as negligible, worthless, or distasteful." Negligible means "...so unimportant or of so little consequence as to warrant little or no attention." I would say that feeling negligible and worthless warrants a diagnosis of depression and much attention. You may despise yourself and your illness, but your thoughts on this don't count here. God does not despise you or your depression; he is with you, strengthening you and listening to you. Answer your negative thoughts: "God does not despise me or the depression. He hears me when I cry to him." And keep crying to him!
Lord, depression can make me despise myself. Keep me focused on you and your love for me. Open my heart to feel you right here, listening. Amen.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Psalm 21:13
Be exalted, O Lord, in your strength! We will sing and praise your power.
Show your strength, God, so no one can miss it. We are singing the good news!
You may be telling yourself that if you were strong, you wouldn't be depressed. You may not be feeling strong enough to make decisions about treatment: hospitalization, medication, therapy, alternative therapy, exercise, getting out of bed... It's overwhelming! Think like a psalmist: all victories come from God and his strength. Wherever you are on this journey, from raising your head to making a major life decision and anything in between, exalt God for his strength. Exalt, by the way, means "to raise high by praise." Praise God by reciting this verse today. Be strengthened by it.
Lord, help me to think like a psalmist, looking for victory through your strength. Especially guide me in the treatment decisions, both big and small, that I face each day. Amen.
Show your strength, God, so no one can miss it. We are singing the good news!
You may be telling yourself that if you were strong, you wouldn't be depressed. You may not be feeling strong enough to make decisions about treatment: hospitalization, medication, therapy, alternative therapy, exercise, getting out of bed... It's overwhelming! Think like a psalmist: all victories come from God and his strength. Wherever you are on this journey, from raising your head to making a major life decision and anything in between, exalt God for his strength. Exalt, by the way, means "to raise high by praise." Praise God by reciting this verse today. Be strengthened by it.
Lord, help me to think like a psalmist, looking for victory through your strength. Especially guide me in the treatment decisions, both big and small, that I face each day. Amen.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Psalm 20:4
May he grant you your heart's desire, and fulfill all your plans.
(God) give you what your heart desires, accomplish your plans.
My heart's desire? I want to forget medications, doctors, therapy, and side effects. I want to live my old life and not have any "side effects" from that, either. I want to be the strongest, most resilient, most faithful, most joyful person ever. Those are wishes and it is very unlikely that those wishes will be granted. When you accept depression, your plans have to shift, maybe subtly or maybe drastically. Remember, though, that depression is just one part of you. Identify your gifts by knowing your heart's desire, and then make your plans. God will work with depression or in spite of depression to fulfill your plans.
Lord, it can feel like depression is all there is to me. Help me recognize my heart's desire so that I know how to serve you. Fill me with hope to make plans and, with your grace and guidance, to fulfill those plans. Amen.
(God) give you what your heart desires, accomplish your plans.
My heart's desire? I want to forget medications, doctors, therapy, and side effects. I want to live my old life and not have any "side effects" from that, either. I want to be the strongest, most resilient, most faithful, most joyful person ever. Those are wishes and it is very unlikely that those wishes will be granted. When you accept depression, your plans have to shift, maybe subtly or maybe drastically. Remember, though, that depression is just one part of you. Identify your gifts by knowing your heart's desire, and then make your plans. God will work with depression or in spite of depression to fulfill your plans.
Lord, it can feel like depression is all there is to me. Help me recognize my heart's desire so that I know how to serve you. Fill me with hope to make plans and, with your grace and guidance, to fulfill those plans. Amen.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Psalm 19:8
...the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is clear, enlightening the eyes;
The life-maps of God are right, showing the way to joy. The directions of God are plain and easy on the eyes.
My life-map right now is filled with recovery. I'm taking medication, going to therapy, walking every day, examining negative thoughts, eating right, writing "gratitudes," petting the dog...anything to feel better! But it's not enough to feel better. Through his Word and the people in my life, God is showing me the way to joy. Depression is so tricky, and some days I'm still on Psalm 3, lifting my head. I read these verses and I yearn to feel the words: rejoicing, enlightening, joy. These are for me. These are for you. Dwell on this: God is working in you to rejoice your heart and show you the way to joy.
Lord, keep me on your life-map and lead me to rejoicing and enlightenment and joy. Keep my heart yearning for them, knowing that you intend me to have them. Help me to recognize, each day, the rejoicing, enlightenment, and joy you provide. Amen.
The life-maps of God are right, showing the way to joy. The directions of God are plain and easy on the eyes.
My life-map right now is filled with recovery. I'm taking medication, going to therapy, walking every day, examining negative thoughts, eating right, writing "gratitudes," petting the dog...anything to feel better! But it's not enough to feel better. Through his Word and the people in my life, God is showing me the way to joy. Depression is so tricky, and some days I'm still on Psalm 3, lifting my head. I read these verses and I yearn to feel the words: rejoicing, enlightening, joy. These are for me. These are for you. Dwell on this: God is working in you to rejoice your heart and show you the way to joy.
Lord, keep me on your life-map and lead me to rejoicing and enlightenment and joy. Keep my heart yearning for them, knowing that you intend me to have them. Help me to recognize, each day, the rejoicing, enlightenment, and joy you provide. Amen.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Psalm 18:19-20
He brought me into a broad place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me. The Lord rewarded me according to my righteousness;
He stood me up on a wide-open field; I stood there saved - surprised to be loved! God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him.
There it is again: acceptance. In trying to figure out my depression and fight my depression I have to hang onto it. If I accept it, along with the treatment and the side effects of treatment, I can place all the pieces before God. And what happens then? God makes my life complete! Place all the pieces before God: the genetics, the chemicals, the psychology, the past, the present, and the worries about the future. You cannot figure this out, but God can. Not only can he, but he wants to. Why? Because he delights in you. Dwell on that: God delights in you.
Lord, help me accept my limitations and all the pieces of this depression puzzle. In my acceptance, I give you the all pieces knowing you will work this out for my good. Fill my heart with knowing that you delight in me. Amen.
He stood me up on a wide-open field; I stood there saved - surprised to be loved! God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him.
There it is again: acceptance. In trying to figure out my depression and fight my depression I have to hang onto it. If I accept it, along with the treatment and the side effects of treatment, I can place all the pieces before God. And what happens then? God makes my life complete! Place all the pieces before God: the genetics, the chemicals, the psychology, the past, the present, and the worries about the future. You cannot figure this out, but God can. Not only can he, but he wants to. Why? Because he delights in you. Dwell on that: God delights in you.
Lord, help me accept my limitations and all the pieces of this depression puzzle. In my acceptance, I give you the all pieces knowing you will work this out for my good. Fill my heart with knowing that you delight in me. Amen.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Psalm 17:5
My steps have held fast to your paths; my feet have not slipped.
I'm trying to get your way, your Word's way.
I've been repeatedly told that depression is a disease and it's not my fault, but I keep thinking about where I went wrong and how I ended up here. In my mind, that's the only way to figure out how to fight depression and avoid it in the future. But focusing on where I went wrong keeps me in a state of fear. Maybe it's only by accepting this disease that I can let go of the blame and focus on the recovery. The path I'm on involves medication, talk therapy, and decisions. Trusting, through his Word, that God is with me on this path, I know that even depression can become a reason to glorify God.
Lord, my thoughts can keep me in a state of self-blame and fear. Lead me to acceptance so that I can feel at peace in my decisions. Open my heart to feel you with me on this path. Amen.
I'm trying to get your way, your Word's way.
I've been repeatedly told that depression is a disease and it's not my fault, but I keep thinking about where I went wrong and how I ended up here. In my mind, that's the only way to figure out how to fight depression and avoid it in the future. But focusing on where I went wrong keeps me in a state of fear. Maybe it's only by accepting this disease that I can let go of the blame and focus on the recovery. The path I'm on involves medication, talk therapy, and decisions. Trusting, through his Word, that God is with me on this path, I know that even depression can become a reason to glorify God.
Lord, my thoughts can keep me in a state of self-blame and fear. Lead me to acceptance so that I can feel at peace in my decisions. Open my heart to feel you with me on this path. Amen.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Psalm 16:11
You show me the path of life. In your presence there is fullness and joy; in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Now you've got my feet on the life path, all radiant from the shining of your face. Ever since you took my hand, I'm on the right way.
This recovery journey is not a straight path; it goes back and forth and up and down. Some days it's hard for me to believe that God is with me. That's a day to take a walk and repeat what I want to believe, the words of this psalm. When I don't have the energy to examine the lies I'm thinking and replace those lies with facts, I just recite something faithful over and over. Maybe all I have the energy for is "Lord Jesus," or "He lifts my head." The important thing is to stop dwelling on the lies of depression by dwelling on God and his love for you.
Lord, my brain can so easily get stuck thinking the lies of depression. Cleanse my mind of those lies and replace them with the fullness and joy of your presence. Help me to feel you take me hand. Amen.
Now you've got my feet on the life path, all radiant from the shining of your face. Ever since you took my hand, I'm on the right way.
This recovery journey is not a straight path; it goes back and forth and up and down. Some days it's hard for me to believe that God is with me. That's a day to take a walk and repeat what I want to believe, the words of this psalm. When I don't have the energy to examine the lies I'm thinking and replace those lies with facts, I just recite something faithful over and over. Maybe all I have the energy for is "Lord Jesus," or "He lifts my head." The important thing is to stop dwelling on the lies of depression by dwelling on God and his love for you.
Lord, my brain can so easily get stuck thinking the lies of depression. Cleanse my mind of those lies and replace them with the fullness and joy of your presence. Help me to feel you take me hand. Amen.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Psalm 15:1
O Lord, who may abide in your tent? Who may dwell on your holy hill?
God, who gets invited to dinner at your place? How do we get on your guest list?
The rest of this psalm is a list in answer to these questions. Only a perfect person could live up to this list. My talk therapist is against the word "should," and suggests that I expect perfection from myself. Perfectionism is another lie of depression. You do not need to be perfect to live with joy. You know it's not even possible, but are you still expecting it of yourself? Are you punishing yourself by dwelling on what you should have done or worrying about what you should be doing? God is inviting you to dinner at his place; you are forgiven for your imperfections and loved for being his unique creation.
Lord, I expect perfection from myself; I see life as a series of rewards and punishments. Lead me to accepting and appreciating myself as you do: your unique creation. Amen.
God, who gets invited to dinner at your place? How do we get on your guest list?
The rest of this psalm is a list in answer to these questions. Only a perfect person could live up to this list. My talk therapist is against the word "should," and suggests that I expect perfection from myself. Perfectionism is another lie of depression. You do not need to be perfect to live with joy. You know it's not even possible, but are you still expecting it of yourself? Are you punishing yourself by dwelling on what you should have done or worrying about what you should be doing? God is inviting you to dinner at his place; you are forgiven for your imperfections and loved for being his unique creation.
Lord, I expect perfection from myself; I see life as a series of rewards and punishments. Lead me to accepting and appreciating myself as you do: your unique creation. Amen.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Psalm 14:7
O that deliverance for Israel would come from Zion! When the Lord restores the fortunes of his people, Jacob will rejoice; Israel will be glad.
Is there anyone around to save Israel? Yes. God is around; God turns life around. Turned-around Jacob skips rope, turned-around Israel sings laughter.
When I get a throat infection, I get an antibiotic and I can predict when I'll feel better. The worst infection I've ever had kept me home from work for 5 days; most of my bouts have been shorter. Depression does not work like this. You may be recovering quickly or slowly, or maybe you're still searching for the best treatment. Cling to God and trust in God. Yes, even if your depression lingers. Even if you're frustrated in the recovery. Your deliverance is from God who turns life around.
Lord, help me cling to the words "rejoice" and "be glad" and to remember that they're about me. Help me to see your deliverance in my life, and the ways you are restoring me. Amen.
Is there anyone around to save Israel? Yes. God is around; God turns life around. Turned-around Jacob skips rope, turned-around Israel sings laughter.
When I get a throat infection, I get an antibiotic and I can predict when I'll feel better. The worst infection I've ever had kept me home from work for 5 days; most of my bouts have been shorter. Depression does not work like this. You may be recovering quickly or slowly, or maybe you're still searching for the best treatment. Cling to God and trust in God. Yes, even if your depression lingers. Even if you're frustrated in the recovery. Your deliverance is from God who turns life around.
Lord, help me cling to the words "rejoice" and "be glad" and to remember that they're about me. Help me to see your deliverance in my life, and the ways you are restoring me. Amen.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Psalm 13:1
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
Long enough, God- you've ignored me long enough. I've looked at the back of your head long enough. Long enough.
I tried to tell myself there is no God. Maybe because of the depression, I rejected that notion in favor of telling myself that God is ignoring me or punishing me. These are lies depression tells, but is that how we believe God works? No, God is with you. Every evening, at the suggestion of my friend, I write down the good things that happened that day. "I walked." "I ate." "I laughed." God has not forgotten you. God is not ignoring you. He is here, shining his face on you through the pain of depression. Write down the good things and thank God for them.
Lord, this disease makes me think everything is hopeless and that you are ignoring me. Lead me to recognize the good parts of each day and thank you for them. Help me fight this disease with thoughts of gratitude. Amen.
Long enough, God- you've ignored me long enough. I've looked at the back of your head long enough. Long enough.
I tried to tell myself there is no God. Maybe because of the depression, I rejected that notion in favor of telling myself that God is ignoring me or punishing me. These are lies depression tells, but is that how we believe God works? No, God is with you. Every evening, at the suggestion of my friend, I write down the good things that happened that day. "I walked." "I ate." "I laughed." God has not forgotten you. God is not ignoring you. He is here, shining his face on you through the pain of depression. Write down the good things and thank God for them.
Lord, this disease makes me think everything is hopeless and that you are ignoring me. Lead me to recognize the good parts of each day and thank you for them. Help me fight this disease with thoughts of gratitude. Amen.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Psalm 12:5
"Because the poor are despoiled, because the needy groan, I will now rise up," says the Lord; "I will place them in the safety for which they long."
Into the hovels of the poor, into the dark streets where the homeless groan, God speaks: "I've had enough; I'm on my way to heal the ache in the heart of the wretched."
Both versions use the word groan. Look at the first version: because you groan, God will place you in safety. It says to reveal your suffering to God and he will respond. I've had to remind myself that I don't know of any cases outside of the Bible where God intervened personally and directly. As I see it, God intervenes through the people around us. It's important to reveal your suffering to people you trust: a doctor, a therapist, your family, your friends. Let God do his work through these people. If you are alone in your depression, reach out. There is help.
Lord, guide me in reaching out to people for help. Lead me to people who are trustworthy and can place me in the safety I so desperately need. Open my heart to accepting the help you offer through the people around me. Amen.
Into the hovels of the poor, into the dark streets where the homeless groan, God speaks: "I've had enough; I'm on my way to heal the ache in the heart of the wretched."
Both versions use the word groan. Look at the first version: because you groan, God will place you in safety. It says to reveal your suffering to God and he will respond. I've had to remind myself that I don't know of any cases outside of the Bible where God intervened personally and directly. As I see it, God intervenes through the people around us. It's important to reveal your suffering to people you trust: a doctor, a therapist, your family, your friends. Let God do his work through these people. If you are alone in your depression, reach out. There is help.
Lord, guide me in reaching out to people for help. Lead me to people who are trustworthy and can place me in the safety I so desperately need. Open my heart to accepting the help you offer through the people around me. Amen.
Psalm 11:5
The Lord tests the righteous and the wicked, and his soul hates the lover of violence.
He tests the good and bad alike; if anyone cheats, God's outraged.
Sometimes depression feels like a punishment, a deserved punishment. That is one of the lies of depression. Depression is an illness, plain and simple. "[God] tests the good and bad alike," so do not think that this is his judgment. Maybe your depression is telling you, in its black or white way, that you are bad. No! What God creates is good, and that includes you. Have you done some bad things? So have we all. God is still looking at you, his creation, and calling you "good." This disease is not a punishment for being bad. Depression is not a punishment; it's a disease.
Lord, depression is a disease of the body, mind, and spirit. It's so hard to fight thoughts of punishment and blame. Fill my mind with clear and true thoughts, especially that I am as you created me: good. Amen.
He tests the good and bad alike; if anyone cheats, God's outraged.
Sometimes depression feels like a punishment, a deserved punishment. That is one of the lies of depression. Depression is an illness, plain and simple. "[God] tests the good and bad alike," so do not think that this is his judgment. Maybe your depression is telling you, in its black or white way, that you are bad. No! What God creates is good, and that includes you. Have you done some bad things? So have we all. God is still looking at you, his creation, and calling you "good." This disease is not a punishment for being bad. Depression is not a punishment; it's a disease.
Lord, depression is a disease of the body, mind, and spirit. It's so hard to fight thoughts of punishment and blame. Fill my mind with clear and true thoughts, especially that I am as you created me: good. Amen.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Psalm 10:17
O Lord, you will hear the desire of the meek; you will strengthen their heart, you will incline your ear...
The victim's faint pulse picks up; the hearts of the hopeless pump red blood as you put your ear to their lips.
Back to Miriam-Webster, who defines meek as "deficient in spirit and courage." Who is meeker than a person suffering depression? God is listening to you plead for your spirit and courage to be regained. It feels like you never had spirit and courage, but you did. And you still have them: each day you survive depression is a day you show your spirit and courage. Let God work through the professionals, family, and friends helping you right now. Feel God's response to you through their actions. Write down the moments where today you showed your spirit and courage.
Lord, I feel so meek right now. Help me to recognize my spirit and courage still showing through as I recover from depression. Thank you for the people who are helping me right now. Help me see your love for me in their actions. Amen.
The victim's faint pulse picks up; the hearts of the hopeless pump red blood as you put your ear to their lips.
Back to Miriam-Webster, who defines meek as "deficient in spirit and courage." Who is meeker than a person suffering depression? God is listening to you plead for your spirit and courage to be regained. It feels like you never had spirit and courage, but you did. And you still have them: each day you survive depression is a day you show your spirit and courage. Let God work through the professionals, family, and friends helping you right now. Feel God's response to you through their actions. Write down the moments where today you showed your spirit and courage.
Lord, I feel so meek right now. Help me to recognize my spirit and courage still showing through as I recover from depression. Thank you for the people who are helping me right now. Help me see your love for me in their actions. Amen.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Psalm 9:9-10
The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.
God's a safe-house for the battered, a sanctuary during bad times. The moment you arrive, you relax; you're never sorry you knocked.
A stronghold is "a place of security or survival." Depression puts you in survival mode when you think suicidal thoughts, have to make yourself eat, and have to make yourself bathe and brush your teeth. If you are in survival mode right now, so be it. For today, say no to those thoughts, eat, bathe, take a walk, and keep your appointments. Remember that the Lord is helping you survive. Trust God. Put your depression and recovery in his hands. Breathe deeply and let your body relax. By God's grace know that you will survive and feel secure once again.
Lord, I wish there were a place to escape this depression, but it follows me everywhere. Help me to feel the security that you offer, and to relax in your loving presence. Amen.
God's a safe-house for the battered, a sanctuary during bad times. The moment you arrive, you relax; you're never sorry you knocked.
A stronghold is "a place of security or survival." Depression puts you in survival mode when you think suicidal thoughts, have to make yourself eat, and have to make yourself bathe and brush your teeth. If you are in survival mode right now, so be it. For today, say no to those thoughts, eat, bathe, take a walk, and keep your appointments. Remember that the Lord is helping you survive. Trust God. Put your depression and recovery in his hands. Breathe deeply and let your body relax. By God's grace know that you will survive and feel secure once again.
Lord, I wish there were a place to escape this depression, but it follows me everywhere. Help me to feel the security that you offer, and to relax in your loving presence. Amen.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Psalm 8:3-4
When I look at thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars which thou hast established; what is man that thou art mindful of him, and the son of man that thou dost care for him?
I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous, your handmade sky-jewelry, moon and stars mounted in their settings. Then I look at my micro-self and wonder, Why do you bother with us? Why take a second look our way?
I was miserable. I felt like I was worse, not better, since I'd started treatment. I couldn't work and couldn't concentrate. I drove only when I had to get to the psychiatrist or the talk therapist. One evening, I could not avoid driving. As I cautiously drove in the dark, I noticed the moon. It was a barely visible sliver, and so beautiful. That's right, I pulled over to look and I thought it was beautiful. When was the last time you looked at the night sky? Take a look and think of the moon's creator. Remember that he is mindful of you and he cares for you.
Lord, you created me, you are mindful of me, and you care for me. Help me dwell on the moon and stars amid the darkness of depression. Amen.
I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous, your handmade sky-jewelry, moon and stars mounted in their settings. Then I look at my micro-self and wonder, Why do you bother with us? Why take a second look our way?
I was miserable. I felt like I was worse, not better, since I'd started treatment. I couldn't work and couldn't concentrate. I drove only when I had to get to the psychiatrist or the talk therapist. One evening, I could not avoid driving. As I cautiously drove in the dark, I noticed the moon. It was a barely visible sliver, and so beautiful. That's right, I pulled over to look and I thought it was beautiful. When was the last time you looked at the night sky? Take a look and think of the moon's creator. Remember that he is mindful of you and he cares for you.
Lord, you created me, you are mindful of me, and you care for me. Help me dwell on the moon and stars amid the darkness of depression. Amen.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Psalm 7:10
My shield is with God who saves the upright in heart...
God in solemn honor does things right.
Depression doesn't feel like an illness. It feels like something I deserve because of who I am, what I've done, or what I haven't done. Remember the lies in Psalm 4? Depression tells you lies. This verse tells you the truth: God is your shield and, although you may not be upright in your mind right now, you are upright in your heart. Hold on to that. God's love, God's solemn honor, makes you upright in your heart. As much as you are suffering, he is shielding you from being destroyed by depression. He is shielding you so you can recover and be upright in your heart and mind.
Lord, I feel responsible for this depression. I feel I deserve it. Shield me from those thoughts and let me remember that you make me upright in heart. Fill me with the hope of healing for my mind. Amen.
God in solemn honor does things right.
Depression doesn't feel like an illness. It feels like something I deserve because of who I am, what I've done, or what I haven't done. Remember the lies in Psalm 4? Depression tells you lies. This verse tells you the truth: God is your shield and, although you may not be upright in your mind right now, you are upright in your heart. Hold on to that. God's love, God's solemn honor, makes you upright in your heart. As much as you are suffering, he is shielding you from being destroyed by depression. He is shielding you so you can recover and be upright in your heart and mind.
Lord, I feel responsible for this depression. I feel I deserve it. Shield me from those thoughts and let me remember that you make me upright in heart. Fill me with the hope of healing for my mind. Amen.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Psalm 6:3
My soul also is sorely troubled, But thou, O Lord - how long?
Can't you see I'm black and blue, beat up badly in bones and soul? God, how long will it take for you to let up?
I was told the medication would take 4-6 weeks to kick in, if the first one kicks in. Of course, the side effects kick in right away, so part of the question is whether I can tolerate the drug. I am left asking God, "How long?" We know the answer from the doctor. But maybe the fact that medication is not the only answer is a blessing. Seek out a therapist who can help you with the stress and cognitive aspects of depression, walk every day, and look for the blessings in each day. When you go to bed, tell yourself that you are now one day closer to being healed.
Lord, it's discouraging to be told that healing takes time. It feels like this depression will go on forever. Help me to use this time to rest and examine the stress in my life and the assumptions I have made about my worth. Amen.
Can't you see I'm black and blue, beat up badly in bones and soul? God, how long will it take for you to let up?
I was told the medication would take 4-6 weeks to kick in, if the first one kicks in. Of course, the side effects kick in right away, so part of the question is whether I can tolerate the drug. I am left asking God, "How long?" We know the answer from the doctor. But maybe the fact that medication is not the only answer is a blessing. Seek out a therapist who can help you with the stress and cognitive aspects of depression, walk every day, and look for the blessings in each day. When you go to bed, tell yourself that you are now one day closer to being healed.
Lord, it's discouraging to be told that healing takes time. It feels like this depression will go on forever. Help me to use this time to rest and examine the stress in my life and the assumptions I have made about my worth. Amen.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Psalm 5:1
Give ear to my words, O Lord; give heed to me groaning.
Listen, God! Please, pay attention! Can you make sense of these ramblings, my groans and cries?
Lord, I cry out to you and still I suffer. Please listen to my words and my groans. Help me to keep crying out to you. Let me find comfort in knowing that you hear me. Help me recognize the other ways you are comforting me. Amen.
Listen, God! Please, pay attention! Can you make sense of these ramblings, my groans and cries?
Lord, I cry out to you and still I suffer. Please listen to my words and my groans. Help me to keep crying out to you. Let me find comfort in knowing that you hear me. Help me recognize the other ways you are comforting me. Amen.
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