For you, O God, have tested us; you have tried us as silver is tried.
He trained us first, passed us like silver through refining fires.
How is silver tried? Merriam-Webster defines try as “to melt down and procure in a pure state” and refine as “to free from impurities or unwanted material.” I think of the lies of depression. Depression exaggerates the impurities that have always been part of me. I am forced to give some of them up, and learn how unnecessary and even harmful they are. I am learning to discern God‘s voice from my own. And don’t forget “he trained us first.“ I am not facing this illness unarmed. I am armed with faith that God can use any trial for good. Healing is bringing me closer to my pure state.
Lord, in depression I only see the fires as Hell. Open my eyes to the way you use this illness to refine me, bringing me closer to my pure state: your creation living life to your glory. Amen.
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