For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures for ever and his faithfulness to all generations.
For God is sheer beauty, all-generous love, loyal always and ever.
It is comforting in depression to remind myself that my depressed state is not all there is to me. I have not always felt like this and I will not always feel like this. But God is not like me. This verse reminds me that God is the same always. I began these psalms because I wanted to see if my faith would withstand the hopelessness of depression. It has. My trust in God has not always been good, steadfast, and faithful, but it has survived. In depression I desperately assumed this verse to be true; in health I joyfully avow this verse to be true. The grace and mercy from my good, steadfast, and faithful God have preserved my soul through depression. It is right to pray this psalm of thanksgiving.
Lord, you are good, steadfast, and faithful. Teach me to cling to you always, that my trust in you may be good, steadfast, and faithful. Thank-you for the ability to joyfully pray psalms of thanksgiving. Amen.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Psalm 99:8
O Lord our God, you did answer them; you were a forgiving God to them, but an avenger of their wrongdoings.
And then God, our God, answered them (But you were never soft on their sins).
God has answered my prayers: I am out of depression and fully participating in life again. The fog has lifted. Like a child who keeps examining a skinned knee, I keep revisiting the paths that took me into and out of depression. This psalm reminds us that God does not protect us from consequences, but he does guide us through them. My sin was seeking glory from my activities. I fight that sin now by seeking glory for God from my activities. I’ve narrowed my life down considerably. I protect my time to rest so that my work can more fully glorify God.
Lord, you answered my prayer. Let my healing glorify you. Let all that I do glorify you. Amen.
And then God, our God, answered them (But you were never soft on their sins).
God has answered my prayers: I am out of depression and fully participating in life again. The fog has lifted. Like a child who keeps examining a skinned knee, I keep revisiting the paths that took me into and out of depression. This psalm reminds us that God does not protect us from consequences, but he does guide us through them. My sin was seeking glory from my activities. I fight that sin now by seeking glory for God from my activities. I’ve narrowed my life down considerably. I protect my time to rest so that my work can more fully glorify God.
Lord, you answered my prayer. Let my healing glorify you. Let all that I do glorify you. Amen.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Psalm 98:1
O sing to the Lord a new song, for he has done marvelous things!
Sing to God a brand-new song. He’s made a world of wonders!
When I first started these devotions I thought I would be unable to write a devotion on a praise psalm. I knew the psalms would express my depression in words. But even these psalms of despair convinced me that my depression was clinical, an illness. I would say, “I have a good life. Why do I feel this way?” In terms of treatment, answering the why is important because depression can be an illness or it can be a response to a difficult life situation. In terms of justifying depression, this question is a dead end. The praise psalms help me throw out the why question. They remind me that God is God. Period.
Lord, I am, in sickness or health, only a human being. Let me be comforted by reading the psalms that praise you. Let them remind me that you are God. Amen.
Sing to God a brand-new song. He’s made a world of wonders!
When I first started these devotions I thought I would be unable to write a devotion on a praise psalm. I knew the psalms would express my depression in words. But even these psalms of despair convinced me that my depression was clinical, an illness. I would say, “I have a good life. Why do I feel this way?” In terms of treatment, answering the why is important because depression can be an illness or it can be a response to a difficult life situation. In terms of justifying depression, this question is a dead end. The praise psalms help me throw out the why question. They remind me that God is God. Period.
Lord, I am, in sickness or health, only a human being. Let me be comforted by reading the psalms that praise you. Let them remind me that you are God. Amen.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Psalm 97:11
Light dawns for the righteous, and joy for the upright in heart.
Light-seeds are planted in the souls of God’s people, Joy-seeds are planted in good heart-soil.
Light is a noun, an adjective, and a verb. It has a total of 22 definitions, 15 of them for the noun. Light is something that makes vision possible. Light is a spiritual illumination. It’s not surprising that physical vision and mental understanding use the same noun. We cannot see without light. That’s why it’s so important to be up in the daytime, enjoying sunlight if not inner light. Living in this emotional darkness is teaching this life-long night owl an appreciation for resting at night and waking in the morning. I’ve never found peace or healing in the night, only worry and anxiety. The sun rises and sets with or without me. I might as well follow God’s plan by rising and setting with the sun.
Lord, you created me to be awake in the light and rest in the darkness. Let me follow your plan, and let sunlight lead me out of the darkness of depression. Amen.
Light-seeds are planted in the souls of God’s people, Joy-seeds are planted in good heart-soil.
Light is a noun, an adjective, and a verb. It has a total of 22 definitions, 15 of them for the noun. Light is something that makes vision possible. Light is a spiritual illumination. It’s not surprising that physical vision and mental understanding use the same noun. We cannot see without light. That’s why it’s so important to be up in the daytime, enjoying sunlight if not inner light. Living in this emotional darkness is teaching this life-long night owl an appreciation for resting at night and waking in the morning. I’ve never found peace or healing in the night, only worry and anxiety. The sun rises and sets with or without me. I might as well follow God’s plan by rising and setting with the sun.
Lord, you created me to be awake in the light and rest in the darkness. Let me follow your plan, and let sunlight lead me out of the darkness of depression. Amen.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Psalm 96:11
Let the heavens be glad and let the earth rejoice; let the sea roar, and all that fills it…
Let’s hear it from Sky, with Earth joining in, and a huge round of applause from Sea.
This psalm begins with the command, “Sing to the Lord a new song.“ By verse 11, nature is told to praise God. But God is always glorified by his creation. The beauty of the sky, earth, and sea gives glory to God. Just by being, creation glorifies God. I am God’s creation also. My existence glorifies God. Calling to him in my depression glorifies God. My healing glorifies God. Just by being, I glorify God. It’s easy to see how God is glorified in a starry night, autumn leaves, or the ocean tide. Witness the glory of God’s creation and remember that you are God’s creation, too.
Lord, I am your creation. Open my heart to enjoying your creation and appreciating its goodness. Remind me that, as your creation, I am good. Amen.
Let’s hear it from Sky, with Earth joining in, and a huge round of applause from Sea.
This psalm begins with the command, “Sing to the Lord a new song.“ By verse 11, nature is told to praise God. But God is always glorified by his creation. The beauty of the sky, earth, and sea gives glory to God. Just by being, creation glorifies God. I am God’s creation also. My existence glorifies God. Calling to him in my depression glorifies God. My healing glorifies God. Just by being, I glorify God. It’s easy to see how God is glorified in a starry night, autumn leaves, or the ocean tide. Witness the glory of God’s creation and remember that you are God’s creation, too.
Lord, I am your creation. Open my heart to enjoying your creation and appreciating its goodness. Remind me that, as your creation, I am good. Amen.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Psalm 95:6
O come, let us worship and bow down, let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!
So come, let us worship: bow before him, on your knees before God, who made us!
We used to sing this in the liturgy when I was a kid. I went to parochial school, so I had to have my own hymnal and Bible in my desk all through school. My mother gave them to me, my name embossed in gold, when I began first grade. At some point, eighth grade maybe, we signed our names in each others’ hymnals, like a yearbook. It’s been comforting to browse through the hymnal from my childhood. It made me smile to see the autographs of my classmates. Next, I opened the photo album. There have been many happy times. Focus on the celebrations of your life.
Lord, you are my Maker. You have blessed my life with many celebrations. Keep my mind focused on my blessings. Amen.
So come, let us worship: bow before him, on your knees before God, who made us!
We used to sing this in the liturgy when I was a kid. I went to parochial school, so I had to have my own hymnal and Bible in my desk all through school. My mother gave them to me, my name embossed in gold, when I began first grade. At some point, eighth grade maybe, we signed our names in each others’ hymnals, like a yearbook. It’s been comforting to browse through the hymnal from my childhood. It made me smile to see the autographs of my classmates. Next, I opened the photo album. There have been many happy times. Focus on the celebrations of your life.
Lord, you are my Maker. You have blessed my life with many celebrations. Keep my mind focused on my blessings. Amen.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Psalm 94:18
When I thought, “My foot slips,” they steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.
The minute I said, “I’m slipping, I’m falling,” your love, God, took hold and held me fast.
I’m remembering my descent into depression, when I thought all I needed was some rest. Could I have avoided this if I’d looked for help earlier? There is no way to tell. But notice when God intervenes in this verse. After all the discussion of crying, moaning, groaning, and pleading unto the Lord, this verse tell us that God intervenes as soon as we realize we’re in trouble. So, the first time I thought all I needed was rest, God took hold. As comforting as it is to know that God responds to me when I ask and because I ask, this provides an even more comforting image.
Lord, you took hold and are holding me still. Guide my thoughts to the ways you have held me up. Let me recognize them each day. Amen.
The minute I said, “I’m slipping, I’m falling,” your love, God, took hold and held me fast.
I’m remembering my descent into depression, when I thought all I needed was some rest. Could I have avoided this if I’d looked for help earlier? There is no way to tell. But notice when God intervenes in this verse. After all the discussion of crying, moaning, groaning, and pleading unto the Lord, this verse tell us that God intervenes as soon as we realize we’re in trouble. So, the first time I thought all I needed was rest, God took hold. As comforting as it is to know that God responds to me when I ask and because I ask, this provides an even more comforting image.
Lord, you took hold and are holding me still. Guide my thoughts to the ways you have held me up. Let me recognize them each day. Amen.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Psalm 93:4
Mightier than the thunders of many waters, mightier than the waves of the sea, the Lord on high is mighty!
Stronger than wild sea storms, Mightier than sea storm breakers, Mighty God rules from High Heaven.
My study Bible comments: “God’s rule is based upon his control over the powers of chaos, symbolized by the waters of the sea.” The dictionary defines chaos as a state of utter confusion. Reminds me of my first response to depression, “I just need to sit and think and figure this out.” That was followed by my second response: utter confusion, because, of course, I couldn’t figure it out. As mighty and strong as this depression-induced chaos is, God is mightier. Picture the ocean this verse describes and then remember Jesus calming the sea. Dwell on this: Mighty God rules from High Heaven, calming the storm of depression.
Lord, Mighty God, calm the storm of depression. Let me dwell on the image of you calming the sea. Amen.
Stronger than wild sea storms, Mightier than sea storm breakers, Mighty God rules from High Heaven.
My study Bible comments: “God’s rule is based upon his control over the powers of chaos, symbolized by the waters of the sea.” The dictionary defines chaos as a state of utter confusion. Reminds me of my first response to depression, “I just need to sit and think and figure this out.” That was followed by my second response: utter confusion, because, of course, I couldn’t figure it out. As mighty and strong as this depression-induced chaos is, God is mightier. Picture the ocean this verse describes and then remember Jesus calming the sea. Dwell on this: Mighty God rules from High Heaven, calming the storm of depression.
Lord, Mighty God, calm the storm of depression. Let me dwell on the image of you calming the sea. Amen.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Psalm 92:1
It is good to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises to your name, O Most High;
What a beautiful thing, God, to give thanks, to sing an anthem to you, the High God!
Singing praises to God while suffering depression is just like doing any activity: I make myself. I make myself brush my teeth and get dressed. I make myself eat and take a walk. I make myself give thanks and sing praises to the Lord. How? I read the psalms. I read the liturgies and hymns in the hymnal. I listen to music. I make lists of the blessings in my life. I am not depressed because everything in my life is bad and I have no blessings. I am depressed because I’m sick. God is with me, delivering me from depression, and I praise him as best as I am able.
Lord, I’m not alone in praising you. Let me depend on all the people who have written praises to you, giving thanks with their words until I find my own words again. Amen.
What a beautiful thing, God, to give thanks, to sing an anthem to you, the High God!
Singing praises to God while suffering depression is just like doing any activity: I make myself. I make myself brush my teeth and get dressed. I make myself eat and take a walk. I make myself give thanks and sing praises to the Lord. How? I read the psalms. I read the liturgies and hymns in the hymnal. I listen to music. I make lists of the blessings in my life. I am not depressed because everything in my life is bad and I have no blessings. I am depressed because I’m sick. God is with me, delivering me from depression, and I praise him as best as I am able.
Lord, I’m not alone in praising you. Let me depend on all the people who have written praises to you, giving thanks with their words until I find my own words again. Amen.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Psalm 91:14
Because he cleaves to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him because he knows my name.
“If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God, “I’ll get you out of any trouble.”
My study Bible calls Psalm 91 a “meditation on God as the protector of the faithful (a wisdom psalm).” In this verse God is talking about you and me. I’m tempted to form an ideal picture of cleaving to God in love, decide I’m falling short, and conclude that God isn’t protecting me. Then I remember Psalm 89 and resist trying to measure or evaluate my cleaving or my love. God isn’t measuring or evaluating. God doesn’t protect me because I deserve it or I’ve earned it. This verse says that God protects me because I ask him. Dwell on this: God protects you because you ask him.
Lord, I have spent the last 90 psalms cleaving to you in love. I am holding on to you for dear life. I know to call your name. Lord, protect me. Amen.
“If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God, “I’ll get you out of any trouble.”
My study Bible calls Psalm 91 a “meditation on God as the protector of the faithful (a wisdom psalm).” In this verse God is talking about you and me. I’m tempted to form an ideal picture of cleaving to God in love, decide I’m falling short, and conclude that God isn’t protecting me. Then I remember Psalm 89 and resist trying to measure or evaluate my cleaving or my love. God isn’t measuring or evaluating. God doesn’t protect me because I deserve it or I’ve earned it. This verse says that God protects me because I ask him. Dwell on this: God protects you because you ask him.
Lord, I have spent the last 90 psalms cleaving to you in love. I am holding on to you for dear life. I know to call your name. Lord, protect me. Amen.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Psalm 90:12
So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.
Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well!
When I see these words, especially the second translation, I can easily think in the context of modern life. Living well means having money, and living wisely means never making mistakes. It reminds me of my husband singing Janis Joplin: “Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz.“ So then I begin again, and think of the good life and wisdom God wants for me. A good life is based on the contentment that flows from praising God. Wisdom is knowing what’s important: caring for God’s people. God is only interested in today, and, with a heart of wisdom, I am only interested in today.
Lord, depression fills my mind with the regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow. Teach me the wisdom of living each day in praise and service to you. Amen.
Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well!
When I see these words, especially the second translation, I can easily think in the context of modern life. Living well means having money, and living wisely means never making mistakes. It reminds me of my husband singing Janis Joplin: “Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz.“ So then I begin again, and think of the good life and wisdom God wants for me. A good life is based on the contentment that flows from praising God. Wisdom is knowing what’s important: caring for God’s people. God is only interested in today, and, with a heart of wisdom, I am only interested in today.
Lord, depression fills my mind with the regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow. Teach me the wisdom of living each day in praise and service to you. Amen.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Psalm 89:1
I will sing of your steadfast love, O Lord, for ever; with my mouth I will proclaim your faithfulness to all generations.
Your love, God, is my song, and I’ll sing it! I’m forever telling everyone how faithful you are.
Faith in God is a gift of the Holy Spirit. Keeping the faith during depression is a testament to the power of the Holy Spirit. Now you might argue and tell me how weak and almost non-existent your faith is at this point. The hopelessness of depression feels like proof that there is no God, or worse, that God has rejected you. But you know those are lies. Remember the faith of the mustard seed! Trust the Holy Spirit to maintain your faith through this illness. By God’s grace, because of his steadfast love and faithfulness, your faith is enough. My faith is enough.
Lord, thank-you for the blessing of faith in you. Let me proclaim your faithfulness by depending on the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Your love, God, is my song, and I’ll sing it! I’m forever telling everyone how faithful you are.
Faith in God is a gift of the Holy Spirit. Keeping the faith during depression is a testament to the power of the Holy Spirit. Now you might argue and tell me how weak and almost non-existent your faith is at this point. The hopelessness of depression feels like proof that there is no God, or worse, that God has rejected you. But you know those are lies. Remember the faith of the mustard seed! Trust the Holy Spirit to maintain your faith through this illness. By God’s grace, because of his steadfast love and faithfulness, your faith is enough. My faith is enough.
Lord, thank-you for the blessing of faith in you. Let me proclaim your faithfulness by depending on the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Psalm 88:3
For my soul is full of troubles, and my life draws near to Sheol.
I’ve had my fill of trouble; I’m camped on the edge of hell.
My study Bible calls this psalm a desperate prayer for healing in sickness. I bet I’ve written about this before, but when I first realized that a week of rest wasn’t going to cure me, I was really shocked. As the weeks passed, I became desperate. I remember lying on the floor in utter desolation and this definition crossed my mind: hell is the absence of God. Yet there was a place in my heart that remembered God‘s mercy and faithfulness and kept believing in God’s presence. I thank God that I can pray this desperate prayer, and still God works through a tiny place in my heart.
Lord, you are with me even when I’m camping on the edge of hell. Thank-you for that place in my heart that remembered your mercy and faithfulness. Amen.
I’ve had my fill of trouble; I’m camped on the edge of hell.
My study Bible calls this psalm a desperate prayer for healing in sickness. I bet I’ve written about this before, but when I first realized that a week of rest wasn’t going to cure me, I was really shocked. As the weeks passed, I became desperate. I remember lying on the floor in utter desolation and this definition crossed my mind: hell is the absence of God. Yet there was a place in my heart that remembered God‘s mercy and faithfulness and kept believing in God’s presence. I thank God that I can pray this desperate prayer, and still God works through a tiny place in my heart.
Lord, you are with me even when I’m camping on the edge of hell. Thank-you for that place in my heart that remembered your mercy and faithfulness. Amen.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Psalm 87:6
The Lord records as he registers the peoples, “This one was born [in Zion].
God registers their names in his book: “This one, this one, and this one- born again, right here."
My study Bible says of this verse, “As God keeps the census records of the world, he notes with special pleasure the citizens of Zion.” For some reason this makes me think of the old joke about being surprised about who we see in heaven! But I shouldn’t be surprised to be recorded as a citizen of Zion. Psalm 86:15 tells us that God is “merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.” This is not a god who angrily scratches out a name at the first sin. God is pleased to write down my name and he is pleased to see me grow in mercy and grace, steadfast love and faithfulness.
Lord, let the mercy and grace you show me develop into mercy and grace I show myself and others. Let my life show that I was born in Zion. Amen.
God registers their names in his book: “This one, this one, and this one- born again, right here."
My study Bible says of this verse, “As God keeps the census records of the world, he notes with special pleasure the citizens of Zion.” For some reason this makes me think of the old joke about being surprised about who we see in heaven! But I shouldn’t be surprised to be recorded as a citizen of Zion. Psalm 86:15 tells us that God is “merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.” This is not a god who angrily scratches out a name at the first sin. God is pleased to write down my name and he is pleased to see me grow in mercy and grace, steadfast love and faithfulness.
Lord, let the mercy and grace you show me develop into mercy and grace I show myself and others. Let my life show that I was born in Zion. Amen.
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