My heart is in anguish within me, the terrors of death have fallen upon me.
My insides are turned inside out; specters of death have me down.
One aspect of depression may be suicidal thoughts. Sometimes in depression the thought of death does not fill us with terror. This psalm tells me that death should fill me with terror. God created me and his desire is for me to live. Suicidal thoughts are specters of death. A specter is "something that haunts or perturbs the mind." Suicidal thoughts are part of depression, part of the disease. They are not part of God's presence and guidance. God is leading you to health. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, answer them with Psalm 54: "The Lord is the upholder of my life."
Lord, suicidal thoughts come from the disease of depression. Keep me strong against those thoughts knowing that your will for me is a healthy life. Continue to uphold my life. Amen.
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