God gives the desolate a home to dwell in: he leads out the prisoners to prosperity…
God makes homes for the homeless, leads prisoners to freedom…
Oh, the lies of depression. “You are weak and foolish. Nobody loves you. Depression is the truth and your times of happiness and success were lies.” This verse doesn’t argue that. This verse says, “I know.” The word desolate is powerful:
-disconsolate, and sorrowful through or as if through separation from a loved one
-showing the effects of abandonment and neglect
-devoid of warmth, comfort, or hope
Sounds like a diagnosis. I am separated from my soul. I treated my soul with abandonment and neglect. I am without hope. This desperate situation leaves me truly open to God’s love and grace.
Lord, only you can bring my soul home to me. Only you can lead me out of this prison of depression. Show me the way, and grant me the grace to follow your way. Amen.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Psalm 67:3
Let the peoples praise you, O God; let all the peoples praise you!
God, let people thank and enjoy you. Let all people thank and enjoy you.
Like Psalm 65, this verse reminds me of worship. Even in wellness, there are times it’s difficult to get to church. I could be tired or discouraged or sad or angry. When I get there, the service takes off and the joy of those around me sweeps me along. There is a familiar flow to it that makes it both automatic and heartfelt at the same time. Despite the hopelessness of depression I’m reminded of the times I’ve praised God in thankfulness and gain confidence that I will again. It can be too easy to hide away from your congregation. Go to church. Sit in silence or in tears. Offer what you can. Praise God with your presence and your open heart.
Lord, it’s so easy to seclude myself in depression. Lead me to my congregation and let their worship fill me with hope in the future you have planned for me. Amen.
God, let people thank and enjoy you. Let all people thank and enjoy you.
Like Psalm 65, this verse reminds me of worship. Even in wellness, there are times it’s difficult to get to church. I could be tired or discouraged or sad or angry. When I get there, the service takes off and the joy of those around me sweeps me along. There is a familiar flow to it that makes it both automatic and heartfelt at the same time. Despite the hopelessness of depression I’m reminded of the times I’ve praised God in thankfulness and gain confidence that I will again. It can be too easy to hide away from your congregation. Go to church. Sit in silence or in tears. Offer what you can. Praise God with your presence and your open heart.
Lord, it’s so easy to seclude myself in depression. Lead me to my congregation and let their worship fill me with hope in the future you have planned for me. Amen.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Psalm 66:10
For you, O God, have tested us; you have tried us as silver is tried.
He trained us first, passed us like silver through refining fires.
How is silver tried? Merriam-Webster defines try as “to melt down and procure in a pure state” and refine as “to free from impurities or unwanted material.” I think of the lies of depression. Depression exaggerates the impurities that have always been part of me. I am forced to give some of them up, and learn how unnecessary and even harmful they are. I am learning to discern God‘s voice from my own. And don’t forget “he trained us first.“ I am not facing this illness unarmed. I am armed with faith that God can use any trial for good. Healing is bringing me closer to my pure state.
Lord, in depression I only see the fires as Hell. Open my eyes to the way you use this illness to refine me, bringing me closer to my pure state: your creation living life to your glory. Amen.
He trained us first, passed us like silver through refining fires.
How is silver tried? Merriam-Webster defines try as “to melt down and procure in a pure state” and refine as “to free from impurities or unwanted material.” I think of the lies of depression. Depression exaggerates the impurities that have always been part of me. I am forced to give some of them up, and learn how unnecessary and even harmful they are. I am learning to discern God‘s voice from my own. And don’t forget “he trained us first.“ I am not facing this illness unarmed. I am armed with faith that God can use any trial for good. Healing is bringing me closer to my pure state.
Lord, in depression I only see the fires as Hell. Open my eyes to the way you use this illness to refine me, bringing me closer to my pure state: your creation living life to your glory. Amen.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Psalm 65:4
Blessed is he whom you choose and bring near, to dwell in your courts! We shall be satisfied with the goodness of your house, your holy temple!
Blessed are the chosen! Blessed the guest at home in your place! We expect our fill of good things in your house, your heavenly manse.
When I first read this verse, it reminded me of worship because I think of God’s house as church. In depression it’s so hard to get to church. Going to church involves a thousand small steps that I take for granted when I’m well. I accomplish these steps primarily because of my children. But once I get there, it’s all for me. In church, the worship goes on with or without my participation. It reminds me that life goes on, health goes on, joy goes on. This verse says it is no accident to find myself in church. It’s not to my credit, either. I go to church because God has blessed and chosen me to be satisfied with the goodness that can only be found worshiping in church.
Lord, thank-you for the blessing of being chosen as a guest in your house. Let me go to church expecting to be satisfied. Amen.
Blessed are the chosen! Blessed the guest at home in your place! We expect our fill of good things in your house, your heavenly manse.
When I first read this verse, it reminded me of worship because I think of God’s house as church. In depression it’s so hard to get to church. Going to church involves a thousand small steps that I take for granted when I’m well. I accomplish these steps primarily because of my children. But once I get there, it’s all for me. In church, the worship goes on with or without my participation. It reminds me that life goes on, health goes on, joy goes on. This verse says it is no accident to find myself in church. It’s not to my credit, either. I go to church because God has blessed and chosen me to be satisfied with the goodness that can only be found worshiping in church.
Lord, thank-you for the blessing of being chosen as a guest in your house. Let me go to church expecting to be satisfied. Amen.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Psalm 64:1
Hear my voice, O God, in my complaint; preserve my life from dread of the enemy...
Listen and help, O God, I'm reduced to a whine and a whimper, obsessed with feelings of doomsday.
I am a person full of words. I am never at a loss for words. In this depression, however, I have trouble processing both what I say and what is being said to me. I feel surprised that the world is going on around me, and confused by it all. I'm not myself anymore, and I'm convinced that I never will be again. This psalm reassures me that my prayer does not have to be full of perfect words, like a Supreme Court case. I can offer my whines and whimpers and feelings of doomsday to God. They are all I have right now. I can offer them to God and he will hear them and understand them.
Lord, I'm not able to think of the right words. Fill me with the reassurance that I don't need to. You have provided the words for me in the Psalms. Open my heart to their comfort and healing. Amen.
Listen and help, O God, I'm reduced to a whine and a whimper, obsessed with feelings of doomsday.
I am a person full of words. I am never at a loss for words. In this depression, however, I have trouble processing both what I say and what is being said to me. I feel surprised that the world is going on around me, and confused by it all. I'm not myself anymore, and I'm convinced that I never will be again. This psalm reassures me that my prayer does not have to be full of perfect words, like a Supreme Court case. I can offer my whines and whimpers and feelings of doomsday to God. They are all I have right now. I can offer them to God and he will hear them and understand them.
Lord, I'm not able to think of the right words. Fill me with the reassurance that I don't need to. You have provided the words for me in the Psalms. Open my heart to their comfort and healing. Amen.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Psalm 63:8
My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.
I hold on to you for dear life, and you hold me steady as a post.
In Psalm 62 I imagined my soul hibernating. Now I add the image of my soul clinging to God in this hibernation. How do I picture my soul? I see my physical self holding on to God for dear life. I see myself holding on to God, in my mind the traditional picture of Jesus, for dear life, and He is holding me steady. This depression will not move me away from who I am, for Jesus is holding me steady. I can add this to my image from Psalm 23. I can call on these images in the face of feeling that my soul is lost forever to depression.
Lord, help me to visualize you holding me steady. Let these image help my soul cling to you. Lead me to trust this image over the feelings of depression. Amen.
I hold on to you for dear life, and you hold me steady as a post.
In Psalm 62 I imagined my soul hibernating. Now I add the image of my soul clinging to God in this hibernation. How do I picture my soul? I see my physical self holding on to God for dear life. I see myself holding on to God, in my mind the traditional picture of Jesus, for dear life, and He is holding me steady. This depression will not move me away from who I am, for Jesus is holding me steady. I can add this to my image from Psalm 23. I can call on these images in the face of feeling that my soul is lost forever to depression.
Lord, help me to visualize you holding me steady. Let these image help my soul cling to you. Lead me to trust this image over the feelings of depression. Amen.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Psalm 62:1
For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation.
God, the one and only- I'll wait as long as he says.
In depression it feels as if I have no soul. This verse tells me that my soul is not lost, it is waiting in silence. What hope this gives me! There's a huge difference between a lost soul and a silent soul. It reminds me of when I get the flu, and the only thing to do is go to bed and rest. My soul is resting. Doesn't that sound healing? I can think of my soul as hibernating, so that it will be strong and unharmed when this depression lifts. My soul will wait as long as God says. That's a frustrating thought, but it also adds to the sense that my soul is sheltered from depression.
Lord, thank you for sheltering my soul during depression. Let this be reassuring to me. Help me to wait and hope for the salvation that only you offer. Bless all my efforts toward healing. Amen.
God, the one and only- I'll wait as long as he says.
In depression it feels as if I have no soul. This verse tells me that my soul is not lost, it is waiting in silence. What hope this gives me! There's a huge difference between a lost soul and a silent soul. It reminds me of when I get the flu, and the only thing to do is go to bed and rest. My soul is resting. Doesn't that sound healing? I can think of my soul as hibernating, so that it will be strong and unharmed when this depression lifts. My soul will wait as long as God says. That's a frustrating thought, but it also adds to the sense that my soul is sheltered from depression.
Lord, thank you for sheltering my soul during depression. Let this be reassuring to me. Help me to wait and hope for the salvation that only you offer. Bless all my efforts toward healing. Amen.
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