Psalm 86:11

Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name.
Train me, God, to walk straight; then I’ll follow your path.  Put me together, one heart and one mind; then, undivided, I’ll worship you in joyful fear.

I’ve always wanted to do things “right.”  It gets very confusing, and I end up accusing myself whenever there’s a problem.  In my mind, if a problem develops, I did something wrong.  So I have to be careful with this verse.  God’s truth is not about finding the right plumber or buying the right crock pot.  It’s not even about marrying the right spouse or choosing the right depression treatment.  God’s truth, highlighted by his mercy and grace and steadfast love (vs.15), keeps my heart and mind together so that I can confidently make life’s decisions and face whatever the consequences without second guessing and accusing.

Lord, when I follow your way I don’t have to worry and second guess my every decision.  Keep my heart and mind on what is without fail:  your truth.   Amen. 

Psalm 85:8

Let me hear what God the Lord will speak, for he will speak peace to his people, to his saints, to those who turn to him in their hearts.
I can’t wait to hear what he’ll say.  God’s about to pronounce his people well, The holy people he loves so much, so they’ll never again live like fools.

Depression has taught me many lessons about myself.  I am a woman created by God.  I have gifts and talents to use to God’s glory.  I also have 24 hours each day to divide between relationships, work, play, and rest.  For me, that rest must include time in solitude as well as a good night’s sleep.  When I habitually rob myself of play and rest, I am living like a fool.  I am acting for my glory, not God’s.  So here I am learning this lesson again.  God’s voice speaks to me of  peace and wellness.  The road to peace and wellness is in God’s call, including the call to rest.

Lord, I am glorifying myself when I work without play and rest.  Remind me to honor my body, your creation, with solitude and rest.  Amen.

Psalm 84:5

Blessed are the men whose strength is in you, in whose heart are the highways to Zion.
And how blessed all those in whom you live, whose lives become roads you travel;

This psalm is about the journey to the temple in Jerusalem.  In Biblical times, making the pilgrimage to the temple was a difficult journey, but the anticipation and joy of worshiping there made it all worthwhile.  I don’t think about worship very often.  My daily prayers are a tug-of-war with God.  I plea that MY will be done, or for the grace to sincerely pray THY will be done.  Worship is where that tug-of-war pulls me in to acknowledge that God is God, even when I’m unable to participate fully.  In worship there is only God’s will.  In worship I am on the journey to strength and peace and joy. 

Lord, save us from the time of trial and deliver us from evil, for the kingdom and the power and the glory are yours, forever and forever.  Amen.

Psalm 83:18

Let them know that you alone, whose name is the Lord, are the most high over all the earth.
Then they’ll learn thy name: “God,” the one and only High God on earth.

God is the most high over depression and all diseases.  Just acknowledging that is a triumph over depression.  But there’s something else gnawing at me.  This verse makes me think about how I need my actions to prove my worth, just as this verse tries to entice God to prove his.  This would work if I were always successful.  Failure not only leaves me feeling unworthy, but it also negates my success.   Take it one step further when I consider that the diagnosis of depression makes me think I’m a  failure, a thought I must argue everyday.  My worth is not in my health or success.  My worth is in being a child of the Lord most high over all the earth.

Lord, let this depression know that thou alone, whose name is the Lord, are the most high over all the earth.  Amen.

Psalm 80:18

Then we will never turn back from you; give us life and we will call on your name!
We will never turn our back on you; breathe life into our lungs so we can shout your name!

The psalmist is not above bargaining.  God wants me to glorify and praise him and this psalm reminds him that while I’m not up to it right now, I certainly would be if God gave me what I asked.  Again I’m reminded that no holds are barred in my conversation with God.  I’m also reminded that life is from God and I am meant to give him the credit.  Lastly, this verse reminds me of the childlike trust God expects from me.  Here I am bargaining like a child begging a parent for a puppy and promising I’ll never ask for anything again.  Dwell on this:  you are healing.  You will feel God’s breath in your lungs and shout God’s name. 

Lord, we have a bargain.  By your grace I will be healed, and I will praise you for it.    Amen.

Psalm 82:8

Arise, O God, judge the earth; for to you belong all the nations!
O God, give them their just deserts!  You’ve got the whole world in your hands!

This psalm is a litany of the Lord’s judgment on pagan gods.  It’s interesting to me that the assumption isn’t that there are no other gods, but that our God is superior to them.  This is important because I could miss the whole point if I thought this only applied to the days of Canaanite gods.  I’ve been surprised to learn that I have lots of other gods in my life.  Not only the typical gods of financial security and success, but the gods of arrogance and the hunger for glory.  Those gods are worshiped through self-doubt and insecurity.  How can I discern God’s will when I’m worshiping those gods?   This is God’s world, not mine.  Any good that I do in this world is to God’s glory, not mine.

Lord, you are the one true God.  I shall have no other gods before you.  Guide me to your will.  Amen.

Psalm 81:5b

I hear a voice I had not known:
I hear this most gentle whisper from One I never guessed would speak to me:

I have a book about discernment.  The book was disappointing for me, because I want discernment to be a burning bush telling me to go to Egypt: direct, unmistakable, and to the point.   Discernment is complicated for me because I think I’m called to do everything.  I’ve always thought God had called me to work, take care of my family, volunteer, learn, solve all problems, and cure all diseases.  I was listening to my bloated self-expectations as if they were calls from God.  I took on too much and it all came crashing down with the depression.   It’s time to sift through my talents, interests, and joys to discern God’s gentle whisper.

Lord, teach me to hear your call.  Let me use this illness as the opportunity to tune in to your will for me.  Amen.

Psalm 79:1

O God, the heathen have come into your inheritance; they have defiled the holy temple; they have laid Jerusalem in ruins.
God!  Barbarians have broken into your home, violated your temple, left Jerusalem a pile of rubble!

Depression is a tricky illness.  It’s not your fault, but it is your fault.  Genetic tendencies, learned ways of thinking, physical traumas, and life circumstances all contribute to it.  The bad news is I unknowingly contributed to my illness; the good news is that by learning new ways of thinking and making other changes I can contribute to my healing.  The problem is that they can both sound like bad news.  This verse helps me recognize the aspects that are beyond my control.  I never expected this and did not knowingly walk into it.  Depression has defiled this holy temple and left me in ruins.  That’s a fact regardless of where the fault lies. 

Lord, I am in ruins.  Guide my thoughts and actions so that I can rebuild and live the life you intended for me.  Amen.

Psalm 78:23

Yet he commanded the skies above, and opened the doors of heaven;
But God helped them anyway, commanded the clouds and gave orders that opened the gates of heaven.

This psalm is a prayer for deliverance from natural enemies and the verse before this explains that God’s people did not have faith and trust in God.  But God helped them anyway.  I don’t have to earn God’s help.  I don’t have to pass the test, strengthen my weaknesses, correct my flaws, or snap out of it.  I don’t even have to have faith and trust in God.  God helps me anyway.  What a relief!  The faith and trust I muster please God because he wants me to turn to him, but it’s not a test.  I can question and doubt and threaten.  I can wallow or fight or rest.  I can beg and plead and moan.  I don’t have to worry about getting this right.  God helps me anyway.

Lord, this verse is so powerful when I feel so powerless.  Help me anyway.  Amen.

Psalm 77:11

I will call to mind the deeds of the Lord; yea, I will remember your wonders of old.
Once again I’ll go over what God has done, lay out on the table the ancient wonders.

According to my study Bible this psalm is a prayer for deliverance from personal trouble and this verse is for encouragement.  The psalmist is encouraging himself with memories of what God has done.  This reminds me, like  Psalm 71, of  the faith of my childhood.  It also reminds me of my faith when life is going smoothly.  It’s important to think of that trusting faith, the faith that attributes all good things to God’s grace.  Depression does not feel like a state of grace, but what if it is?  What “amazing grace” indeed could penetrate depression and allow me to recall God’s blessings of the past, experience God’s blessings of the present,  and be hopeful of God’s blessings in the future?

Lord, you are never-changing.  Let me by comforted by your ancient wonders in my life so that I can see the wonders of today and hope for the wonders of tomorrow.  Amen.

Psalm 76:11

Make your vows to the Lord your God, and perform them; let all around him bring gifts to him who is to be feared…
Do for God what you said you’d do - he is, after all, your God.  Let everyone in town bring offerings to the One Who Watches our every move.

I love how The Message translation brings an idea home.  “…he is, after all, your God.”  It makes me laugh and think at the same time.  Depression is a time for me to figure out what my faith means and who my God is.  I know about YOUR loving and forgiving God, the God who created you in his good image, the God I call on to comfort you.  But in my heart, is that MY God?  Does all that apply to me?  My sister gave me this large, illustrated, framed Bible verse:  Be still and know that I am God.  It’s hanging in a prominent place because I know it’s the lesson I need to learn and relearn.  He is, after all, my God.  What would happen if my every thought verified that?

Lord, you are my God.  You love and forgive me.  You created me in your good image.  You comfort me.  Amen.

Psalm 75:3

When the earth totters, and all its inhabitants, it is I who keep steady its pillars.
When the earth goes topsy-turvy and nobody knows which end is up, I nail it all down, I put everything in place again.

In depression my world is topsy-turvy and I don’t know which end is up.  It’s very important for me to identify who the “I” is in this verse.  God is talking.  God steadies earth’s pillars.  God puts everything in place again.  This is important because I could read this and seriously think I am talking.  Remember the expectations that I don’t live up to?  Here they are:  I expect myself to do what only God can do.  Ridiculous?  That word doesn’t begin to cover it.  In the light of day, I see my strengths and limitations.  I can do what God enables me to do, to his glory.  I don’t need to take the blame for all that is wrong or the glory for all that is right.

Lord, in my need for glory I also run into blame.  Teach me to use my strengths and weaknesses to your glory.   Amen.

Psalm 74:16

Thine is the day, thine also the night; you have established the luminaries and the sun.
You own the day, you own the night; you put stars and sun in place.

I fall short of my expectations.  When my expectations see the light of day, they seem ridiculous.  That’s why it’s so important that they see the light of day.  It is in the light of day that I am able to look at things closely and accurately.  I can see my physical  surroundings and examine what’s in my mind and heart.  So what is the night for?  The night is for rest.  Night time, in the dark, is not the time to examine my mind and heart.   As someone who has squandered many a night’s rest on self-examination, I can confidently say that it is never productive.  Bring your thoughts into the light and use the darkness to rest. 

Lord, you created a time for action and a time for rest.  Guide me in using both to your glory.  Amen.

Psalm 73:4

For they have no pangs; their bodies are sound and sleek.
[The people] who have nothing to worry about, not a care in the whole wide world.

I imagine there are people with no problems.  These people do everything right, and therefore they have no problems.  I have problems, so I must do everything wrong.  This kind of thinking contributes to depression.  Everybody has problems, everybody makes mistakes, everybody has weaknesses.  And I have avoided and solved problems,  I have done things right, and I have strengths.  I have even had times when I looked like someone with no pangs!  Learning how to look at myself accurately is part of the healing.  Giving up the notion of perfect people with perfect lives is part of the healing, too.

Lord, you created me and you call your creation good.  Protect my thoughts from the lies of depression.  Guide my thoughts to keep them accurate and true.    Amen.

Psalm 72:18

Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who alone does wondrous things.
Blessed God, Israel's God, the one and only wonder-working God!

I’m looking for an answer, a cure.  It’s hard for me to even trust the medication to do wondrous things when it’s the third prescription I’ve tried.  When this is over, I will be thankful for pills and doctors and therapists and friends and family.  I have prayed to God and groaned to God.  Today, let me tell God to do wondrous things.  Let my heart and my mind and my depression be open to the wondrous things which only God can do. 

Lord, you alone do wondrous things.  Amen.

Psalm 71:5

For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth.
You keep me going when times are tough- my bedrock, God, since my childhood.


I was baptized as a baby.  As a child I attended church, Sunday school, and parochial school.  The Holy Spirit was at work in me for years before I grew old enough to question the teachings of my faith.  In depression it can feel like God isn’t my hope.  Depression makes it easy to doubt if God exists.  That is what took me to the Psalms.  I knew the questions and doubt would be here along with the hope and the trust.  As a child I knew God was real and cared about me.  This Psalm gives me the chance to look back to that faith, to call back that faith to sustain me as an adult.  God has always kept me going when times were tough.  He will keep me going now.

Lord, I believed in you honestly and truly as a child.  Comfort me with those memories, and help me use them to hang on to my faith in this depression.  Amen.

Psalm 70:1

Be pleased, O God, to deliver me!  O Lord, make haste to help me!
God!  Please hurry to my rescue!  God, come quickly to my side!

Time.  Out of all the lessons of depression, waiting is the most frustrating to learn.  This verse tells me three things.  First, I can remind God of my suffering and tell him to hurry.  Second, I can expect him to help.  Third, it will please him to help me.  In other words, I am not an annoyance or a bother.  My prayer is exactly right.  
God wants me to cry out to him. 
God is helping me. 
God wants to help me. 
   
Lord, I think of all or nothing, depressed or well.  Help me to appreciate the ways you help each day, and each step out of this depression.  Amen.

Psalm 69:32

Let the oppressed see [my thanksgiving] and be glad; you who seek God, let your hearts revive.
The poor in spirit see and are glad - Oh, you God-seekers, take heart!

Depression feels endless, but it is not.  Look at people who have been healed.  If you don’t know anyone personally, ask your doctor or counselor for reassurance.  Watch commercials for depression medications, and notice how happy the people are by the end.  I know that sounds ridiculous, but so much of the pain of depression is thinking that life will be like this forever.  It won’t be.  There is a way out.  Tell God you will thank and praise him for your healing.  Remind him that others will see your praise, and it will help them to trust God, too.  Give thanks today for any evidence of healing in your life, no matter how subtle. 

Lord, I look forward to praising you for my healing.  I trust that healing will come and know that it can only come from you.  Keep me faithful.   Amen.